I’m a mid–high school girl, and I’ve had an on-and-off crush on one of my close friends. What do I do?
I’m a mid–high school girl, and I’ve had an on-and-off crush on one of my close friends (also a mid–high school girl) since late seventh grade. Over time my feelings grew stronger, and in late September/early October we found out that we liked each other. We exchanged notes about our feelings — she shared that she had liked me on and off too, and that her feelings grew during a school theatre trip. She also mentioned writing about me in her diary and said she was open to whatever I wanted to do moving forward.
Since then, we’ve stayed close and continue to text often. Our conversations aren’t as obviously flirty as they were at first, but we still have moments of flirting. We’ve hung out several times one-on-one — going to a bookstore, a record shop, a coffee shop, spending time at my house, and most recently baking cookies and watching a movie at hers. We have another hangout planned soon.
There have been several moments that make me think we still like each other, like when she followed me out during a school dance because I was nervous and stayed with me, when friends teased us and we both blushed, and multiple almost-touching moments. We’ve also made playlists and Pinterest boards for each other that have romantic undertones.
However, back in October she told me she didn’t want to enter a relationship unless she felt she could fully commit. She clarified that it wasn’t about not wanting to be with me specifically — she just didn’t feel ready at the time. When I brought it up again a few weeks later, she said she didn’t want me to feel like I was waiting on her, because I deserved clarity.
I still really want to be in a relationship with her, and I feel like the mutual feelings are still there. At our last hangout, we sat very close and I almost initiated physical contact but got nervous. I want to make a move or define things somehow, but I also don’t want to pressure or rush her.
How should I handle this situation?
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