wikiHow Forums Relationships

To believe or not to believe in your ex-boyfriend's change?

Caramel fox
Caramel fox
10/28/25 3:57pm
I talked to a guy about his attitude towards himself, which wasn't very good, and about some of his views that were wrong if he was in a serious relationship. He agreed and said he would change for the better. However, we recently broke up because the changes didn't happen. Now, he's doing everything he can to get me back, but I don't know if he's telling the truth or if it's just a temporary situation. However, he has changed for the better in terms of his attitude towards himself and towards me. to see how his attitude will develop further, or to tell him right away not to expect anything from me? I have feelings for him, but I'm afraid of repeating myself
Upvote · 1
1
Share
View hidden comment
wikiHow forums are moderated for quality. Learn more about our moderation policy here.
wikiHow Expert
Nicole Lam
Nicole Lam
Registered Clinical Counselor
12/05/25 12:58am
I think it depends on your personal beliefs about change and how humans can change. A lot of us have very rigid parameters about change. For example, some say, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." I'm not going to prescribe what people should and shouldn't think. But it does depend. I am of the camp that people are always able to change, but change takes time.

I like to ask, "How are they coming forward with their intention to change?" Have they shown consistency? Have they put in the work and taken the time that change takes? You want to see consistent actions that prove that something is different. Right now, I'd look for more consistency in his words and actions before you make a decision.
Upvote
Reply
Share
View hidden comment
Submit Answer

What’s on your mind? Ask anything.

Get advice and feedback from experts and wikiHow readers just like you.

Ask a Question

More Forum Discussions

breakup with boyfriend: what should I do?
So... i broke up with my ex a week ago, and all the emotions hit me at the end of the day (We're both in high school) so there of course were people started drama and words got mixed up and we argued. We were dating for 4 months and a few weeks, and i asked all my other friends what i should do(They all said the same thing)-Give yourself and him some space for a while... well my ex wanted to know why I felt that we needed to part and i told him that i had lost feelings and that it would be fair to the both of us to not continue the relationship because at that point it was just one sided and that wasn't right. He told me he appreciated that i told him.... and we both agreed that we moved too fast and that we did things we probably shouldn't have done. He asked me if we could be friends after i told him my reasons and i told him i would have to think about it cause we just broke up, and i came to a decision and told him yes we could be friend but probably not best best friends and that it would take a while and he said yeah that's going to be hard for me just seeing you as a friend because i still have love for you or that he still loves me a lot, and now i'm having that same problem. What should I do because part of me wants to tell him that i still love and the other part is saying to keep it to myself. what should i do?
Upvote · 2
4
My boyfriend is always moody
So my bf and I have been dating for more than a year now. He was really sweet and always taking initiative. But few months ago, we quit the same job and we were happy about it because the job was too demanding and we decided to find a new workplace.

So while jobless, we rarely see each other but we do communicate through FaceTime almost everyday. However, 2 months after that, he started feeling really down. It’s like he felt hopeless and worthless for not having a job and while he does apply for many jobs online but the ones who reached out are not the ones he wanted. So he went into quiet mode. I contacted him but he did not answer and I texted him but he did not reply until after an hour. He replied me saying, “Sorry, I’m tired. Let’s talk tomorrow”. And guess what? The next day he went quiet as well. So just to let yall know that this happened months ago but it’s still ongoing.

I’ve even talked to him about it and he said that it’s a personal thing and I have nothing to do with it. I told him that I feel so isolated and neglected when he does that because it felt like he was pushing me away and it’s not fair to leave me alone wondering when he will back to me.

So fast forward to today, he still does that thing sometimes and to be honest, I’m tired of it. I talked to him many times about it and I even offered many solutions such as telling him exactly what to text if he doesn’t have the mood to talk to me and in return, I won’t ask a thing and give him space. But when it happened again, he did not do any of that.

I love him, I really do. And I feel happy with him but every time this happens, I feel like I’m always the one putting the effort to work things out while he’s just enjoying the ride. I even thought of breaking up with him once or twice and I cried thinking of that. I need you guys advice on this. What should I do?
Upvote
2
Should I end things?
This guy and I have been on and off for two years, and I want just to say no and end it, but it's so hard, and I love him. Should I end it? Is he gonna hate me if I do?
Upvote · 1
3
What do I do if I have fallen back in love with my ex?
In my Maths class, is this really beautiful and brilliant girl who I sit next to and I used to go out with. We are pretty close and flirt a bit of the time, we are also both single but only recently. Can you help me out with what to do please?
Upvote · 2
4
Should we break up?
Okay so long story short we've been on and off 8yrs I've tried breaking up recently but it only lasts about a day before I crawl back. It's fine for the first little while but then I go back to being annoyed and just wanting space and to do my own thing. The big issue is they're suffering with personality disorder which means sometimes they're the person I remember them as and other times it's like I'm talking or trying to connect to a stranger. I'm also always the one doing the talking I know they're going thru a lot so I keep trying to hold out but at the same time they have no plan for their future anymore and anytime I try to encourage them to find things they love they just shut down. In turn it's make me feel lazy and all my goals I have worked hard for over the past few years have been getting pushed to the side as well as my self care to try and help my partner. They want to be around me all the time which I used to love but they get super hurt and shut me out when I ask for space to take the time to look after myself. I just don't know what to do as I keep being weak every time we breakup and miss them so much but on the other hand when I was single for a couple months last year focusing on me and my career I seemed to be glowing. Idk if I'm just linking them to me feeling drained because we're in a rut and there going through things or if it's because I truly was better single. Thoughts?
Upvote · 1
1
I need help!! (he's getting a little bit...much)
So I'm dating this really nice guy named Nathan. We've been together almost 7 months and he's getting a little bit...much.

If I already have plans, he asks me out on that specific night then gets upset when I say I have previous commitments. But then the next day he's perfectly content to cuddle and treat me like a queen. When I see him, my heart does that crazy weird butterfly thingie and I feel great.

He makes time to come see me every day at lunch and after school, even though he doesn't go to my school. But at night it feels like his inner demon comes out and he's suddenly no longer himself. He's so controlling and dominant and I'm not sure I like Night-Nathan as much as I do Day-Nathan.

So what do I do? Do I settle for the Day-Nathan, or give him up?
Upvote
4
Explore All Forum Posts