How Intimidating Am I?

Take this quiz to find out how other people see you!

Ever feel like other people are intimidated by you? Or are you an open book, someone people love to talk to? We're about to find out!

Answer a few simple questions, and we'll tell you exactly how intimidating you are!

An illustration of a tough-looking man.

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Questions Overview

1. In your opinion, it's better to be...
  1. Feared
  2. Admired
  3. Loved
2. When you're talking to someone 1-on-1, do they usually make eye contact?
  1. Not really. People tend to look away.
  2. Sort of, but it's kind of shifty sometimes.
  3. Yes, people tend to look me in the eye when we talk.
  4. I don't know, or I haven't noticed!
3. How quickly do you usually open up to people?
  1. It takes me a long time to loosen up and let my guard down.
  2. I'm pretty closed-off at first, but I open up after a little bit of time.
  3. I'm pretty open! I have no trouble connecting with new people.
4. What's your go-to greeting for strangers?
  1. Greeting? I tend not to greet people I don't know.
  2. A firm handshake.
  3. A smile and nod.
  4. Something else.
5. Are you the kind of person to start a conversation with a stranger?
  1. No way. I tend to mind my business.
  2. Sometimes, if I think it's important.
  3. Sure! Talking to strangers is fun.
6. Do you ever have trouble making yourself heard in group conversations?
  1. Nope. When I talk, people usually listen.
  2. Sometimes, but that's natural. It happens!
  3. Often, yeah. It's hard for me to speak up for myself.
7. Do you ever compare yourself to other people?
  1. Not really. Everyone has their own stuff going on.
  2. Now and then. I can't help it!
  3. Frequently. I want to know how I measure up.
8. Would you say you're good at public speaking?
  1. Absolutely. I could improvise a speech right now.
  2. Sure. I can deliver a presentation if I prepare.
  3. Sort of, but it makes me nervous.
  4. No way. I'd rather do anything else.
9. Which of these words do you think best describes you?
  1. Ambitious
  2. Easygoing
  3. Charming
  4. Sensitive
  5. Thoughtful
  6. Mysterious
10. Would you say you're easily intimidated by others?
  1. Not at all. I focus on worrying about myself.
  2. Sure. Isn't everyone, now and then?
  3. Pretty much all the time. Everyone else is so cool!

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How to Be Less Intimidating

In a world where we're more isolated than ever, it can be tough to reach across the gap and connect, especially when people are so easily intimidated. We talked to social experts to show you how to bridge that gap and relate to people:

  • Behavioral and social scientist Dr. Abbie Maroño says, "Often people think that to get power, you need to be big and bold and take up as much space as possible. And actually, it comes across as very dominant rather than confident. And people get the two very mixed up. And it can feel very overbearing. So it doesn't necessarily make you look more powerful. It makes it look like you're trying to take power over them. And it can feel very intimidating, and that doesn't create a very trusting relationship."[1]
  • Communication coach Eddy Baller tells us, "If you approach somebody cold... You want to make sure you're respecting their space. Don't jump into their bubble. My rule of thumb is that if I can reach my arm straight out and I am not able to touch them, that's probably more or less a decent distance to start. But you don't want to get right in their space, otherwise that's going to scare a lot of people."[2]
  • Licensed professional counselor Casey Lee says, "If you can feel secure about yourself, you will be free to be authentic, vulnerable, assertive, interested, and accepting of others. These are qualities that most people like."[4]
  • Etiquette coach Carolyn Powery reminds us that, "To command respect, you need to show that you value what others have to say. If you make people feel that their opinions are just as important as yours, they’ll recognize you as a good listener and communicator. Respect is earned when people feel heard and valued."[5]

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References

  1. ↑ Dr. Abbie Maroño. Behavioral and Social Scientist. Expert Interview
  2. ↑ Eddy Baller. Communication Coach. Expert Interview
  3. ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Communication Therapist. Expert Interview
  4. ↑ Casey Lee. Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). Expert Interview
  5. ↑ Carolyn Powery. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview