This article was co-authored by Laura Windsor and by wikiHow staff writer, Jennifer Mueller, JD. Laura Windsor is an etiquette coach based in London, UK. With nearly 10 years of experience, Laura is the founder of the Laura Windsor Etiquette Academy and has been dubbed the Queen of Etiquette. She specializes in cross-cultural communication skills, etiquette, protocol, and personal presentation, and serves as a trusted advisor to numerous international Royal Families, high-profile celebrities, private households, and global businesses. Laura was honored with the Award for Entrepreneurship in Etiquette and Protocol at the historic House of Lords in London, and was recently appointed a Queen Elizabeth II Commonwealth Trust Leader. She regularly features on television, radio, and in print media in the UK and internationally, is a sought-after commentator for the BBC, and was an on-set consultant for Netflix’s Bridgerton. Her formal etiquette training was conducted under the guidance of a former member of the Royal Household of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. She was also educated at Downe House and attended the Lucie Clayton finishing school in London.
There are 18 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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If you want to be successful and influence others, the ability to be diplomatic might be one of the most powerful skills you can develop. When you're diplomatic, you signal to others that you care about their feelings as well and seek to find a solution that works well for everyone involved. Using diplomatic skills also helps you create a more collaborative environment, as opposed to an adversarial one. Read on to learn how to hone your diplomatic skills and put them to work to achieve your goals.
How to Practice Diplomacy
Be diplomatic by listening more than you talk. Choose a place and time that are appropriate to have the discussion and empathize with the other person so you understand how to say what you have to say in a way they'll understand and appreciate.
Steps
Master the Art of Communication with this Expert Series
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat are the diplomatic skills?
Trudi Griffin, LPC, MSTrudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.
Professional Counselor
Diplomatic skills include active listening, speaking tactfully and respectfully, and the ability to see multiple points of view. -
QuestionIs it good to be diplomatic?
Trudi Griffin, LPC, MSTrudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.
Professional Counselor
Yes. Diplomatic skills often prevent issues from escalating to conflict as diplomatic people can see both sides of a problem. -
QuestionWhat is an example of diplomacy?
Trudi Griffin, LPC, MSTrudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.
Professional Counselor
A diplomatic person would be able to facilitate an agreement between two coworkers with conflicting views of how a project should go and resolve the problem with each coworker feeling like their needs and interests were addressed.
Tips
References
- ↑ Laura Windsor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://hbr.org/tip/2018/04/be-tactful-when-you-provide-feedback-in-writing
- ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/en-au/entrepreneurs/workplace-diplomacy-10-tactics-to-be-more-influential/323153
- ↑ Laura Windsor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/the_power_of_good_manners
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2021/09/5-techniques-to-build-rapport-with-your-colleagues
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/body-language
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/using_a_persons_name_in_conversation
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2023/09/how-do-i-communicate-with-more-tact
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2023/09/how-do-i-communicate-with-more-tact
- ↑ https://online.findlay.edu/2579-2/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-to-do-life/201405/my-attempt-to-learn-how-to-be-tactful
- ↑ Laura Windsor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://emergingrnleader.com/becoming-more-tactful/
- ↑ https://afsa.org/two-ears-one-mouth-two-hands-diplomacy-101
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2023/09/how-do-i-communicate-with-more-tact
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2023/04/how-to-give-negative-feedback-to-your-peers-boss-or-direct-reports
- ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/90451221/how-to-find-common-ground-when-it-seems-impossible
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2023/09/how-do-i-communicate-with-more-tact
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2023/09/how-do-i-communicate-with-more-tact
- ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.aspx
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-to-do-life/201405/my-attempt-to-learn-how-to-be-tactful
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/assertive/art-20044644
- ↑ https://www.amanet.org/articles/5-actions-for-communicating-with-diplomacy-tact-and-credibility/
- ↑ https://www.amanet.org/articles/5-actions-for-communicating-with-diplomacy-tact-and-credibility/
- ↑ https://afsa.org/two-ears-one-mouth-two-hands-diplomacy-101
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-to-do-life/201405/my-attempt-to-learn-how-to-be-tactful
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2023/04/how-to-give-negative-feedback-to-your-peers-boss-or-direct-reports
- ↑ https://www.amanet.org/articles/5-actions-for-communicating-with-diplomacy-tact-and-credibility/
- ↑ https://www.amanet.org/articles/5-actions-for-communicating-with-diplomacy-tact-and-credibility/
- ↑ https://diplomacy.state.gov/discover-diplomacy/the-skills-of-diplomacy/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-to-do-life/201405/my-attempt-to-learn-how-to-be-tactful
- ↑ https://emergingrnleader.com/becoming-more-tactful/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2023/09/how-do-i-communicate-with-more-tact
- ↑ https://emergingrnleader.com/becoming-more-tactful/
About This Article
If you want to communicate in a more diplomatic way, be careful about how you phrase your statements. Try to make it clear that you are giving your opinion by using “I” statements. For example, say things like, “I don’t like what you said to me” instead of assuming it was meant as an insult. You should also try to be less direct by asking people if they have considered other options, instead of telling them to do it your way. For advice from our reviewer on dealing with difficult situations, read more!
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