Born Pretty vs Bullied Pretty TikTok Trend (& How They're Different)

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Plus, expert tips on how to feel pretty inside & out

Co-authored by Brooks Gibbs, PhD and Elaine Heredia, BA

Last Updated: January 26, 2026 Fact Checked

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• Trend Meaning
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• Trend Examples
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• Signs You Might Be Bullied Pretty
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• Tips to Feel Pretty
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It's normal for women and girls not to feel pretty at times, especially when you're going through a tumultuous phase of life like puberty. But now, some people on social media are claiming that they were bullied so hard for their looks that it motivated them to try to become more conventionally attractive. They call this being "bullied pretty" instead of being born pretty. Keep reading to learn more about the meaning of this trend, examples of how different creators interpret it, signs you might be bullied pretty, and tips for feeling pretty inside and out from psychology, emotional resilience, and relationship experts.

Born Pretty vs Bullied Pretty Explained

"Born pretty vs bullied pretty" is a TikTok trend where people share that they were bullied for not being naturally attractive, which motivated them to try to look prettier. The trend is a way for people online to share their struggles with bullying and body image, before and after becoming conventionally pretty.

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Section 1 of 4:

Born Pretty vs Bullied Pretty Trend Meaning

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   This trend compares naturally pretty people with people who have become pretty. In this trend, social media creators publish videos like this post by TikToker @reallyrealrose. The caption in Rose's TikTok reads, "You were born pretty. I was bullied into being pretty. No, we're not the same." The trend implies that some people are effortlessly attractive, while others are bullied so hard for being "unattractive" or "ugly" that they change their looks to try to look prettier. Their transformation might be motivated by low self-esteem and a desire for other people's approval, instead of self-love.

   • Changing your appearance to look prettier might include wearing more makeup, styling your hair to follow current trends, going on a diet or exercising to lose body fat, and getting lip filler and other enhancements.
   • Emotional resilience expert Brooks Gibbs, PhD says, “A strong synonym for bullying is coercion. Coercion is the attempt to pressure someone into acting against their will. In this case, it is pressuring someone to change their appearance to satisfy the bully.”
   • “This tactic can work when the target has a specific vulnerability,” notes Dr. Gibbs. “Dr. Albert Ellis described two common ones: perfectionism and approvalism. Many people feel they must perform perfectly in order to earn approval from someone they consider important. When a bully senses this, they can exploit it by implying, ‘Change your look, or you will be rejected.’”
   • There's nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel more attractive! But your motivation should be to please yourself, not people who have said mean things about you.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Brooks Gibbs, PhD is an author, speaker, and emotional resilience expert based in Tampa Bay, Florida. He teaches strategies for conflict resolution with an emphasis on emotional resilience and the golden rule.

   Lauren Urban, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist with over 16 years of experience. She provides an anti-oppressive, identity-affirming space for children, families, couples, and individuals.

   Katie Styzek is a school counselor for Chicago Public Schools. She has two Master's degrees and is nationally board-certified in school counseling.

   John Keegan is a dating coach with over 15 years of professional experience. He uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love.

   Joshua Pompey is a relationship expert with 15 years of experience in the industry. He helps his matchmaking clients navigate online dating and has a 99% success rate.
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Section 2 of 4:

Born Pretty vs Bullied Pretty Trend Examples

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   Some people use the trend to compare themselves before and after bullying. For example, in December 2022, TikTok user @marissa_wirth shared a video comparing her younger self to her older self. In the first photo, she's heavier set and wearing a puffer vest. In the second photo, she's slimmer, has makeup on, and is wearing a dress that reveals more of her skin. The video captions read "'Words hurt.' First I didn't get it? Now I understand." Marissa also includes the hashtag #bodyshamed. Marissa seems to be implying that she changed her appearance because she was body shamed and considered by others to be overweight or ugly.

   • In another example of this version of the trend, @user._.not1._.found shared a video showing the skincare and hair products they used before they were bullied compared to the products they used afterward. The second set of products is much bigger and includes makeup and fake eyelashes.
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   Some use the trend to show how being bullied pretty made them different. A few TikTok creators have used the "born pretty vs bullied pretty" trend to emphasize how different they are from people who are born conventionally or naturally attractive. One example is this video by @surasnotsorry, in which the caption reads, "U were born pretty, I got bullied into being pretty we ain't the same." Another example is this TikTok by @clubnitti, in which the creator implies that people who were born pretty have no personality.
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   Others seem to use it to spark discussion and uplift people who were bullied. For example, this TikTok by @rylandcuillo shows the creator singing and dancing to "Diamonds" by Rihanna. One of the lyrics is, "Shine bright like a diamond / You're beautiful like diamonds in the sky." The caption reads, "There's a difference btw being born pretty and being bullied into pretty." Given his song choice, it seems like Ryland is trying to uplift his viewers and reassure them that they're all attractive.

   • Several people in the comments of Ryland's TikTok admitted that they were bullied into becoming pretty. A user named @youknowme22222 even remarked, "Being bullied into being pretty kills the real you, at least it did to me."
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Section 3 of 4:

Signs You Might Be Bullied Pretty

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   You decided to change because of a mean thing that another person said. Maybe someone told you that your eyes were too big, so you decided to start wearing eyeliner every day. Or maybe they said you look fat, so you went on a strict diet and lost several pounds. The problem isn't that you started doing things to improve your appearance. The issue is if the person made you feel so bad about yourself that you decided to change so they wouldn't say mean things about you anymore. In other words, you may have changed for them, not yourself.

   • Dr. Gibbs explains, “The good news is that coercion fails when a person refuses to participate. A confident individual who accepts themselves and does not live for other people’s approval cannot be pushed into changing their appearance.”
   • It's not your fault when someone bullies you! The fact that they bully you says more about their problems than about you. And remember, beauty is subjective, so don't worry about what other people think of your looks.
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   You don't feel any joy doing your beauty routine. Some people love playing with makeup, using skincare products, and styling their hair. But if these things feel like a chore to you, it's possible you're only doing it because you think you have to. Consider if someone in your past once called you unattractive, and if that's what motivated you to start doing beauty routines that you might not even like.

   • Only wear makeup and dress in ways that make you happy! Use makeup and fashion as tools to help you express yourself, not to meet other people's expectations.
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   You don't feel like yourself when you do your hair and makeup. You might not only think that doing your hair and makeup is a chore, but when you look in the mirror, you may not recognize yourself. This could be because you're copying the same beauty trends that everyone else is doing. You might be choosing to make yourself look conventionally attractive to please other people instead of crafting a look that's uniquely you.

   • It's perfectly okay to want to follow beauty trends! It's only wrong if you don't like them, but do them anyway because you think people will think you're unattractive if you don't.
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Section 4 of 4:

Tips for Feeling Pretty Inside & Out

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   Understand that the people bullying you are the problem, not you. Licensed psychotherapist Lauren Urban, LCSW, says that when people bully you, it's not about you. It's really about "other people's shortcomings and insecurities." In other words, bullies pick on others to make themselves feel better, usually because they were bullied themselves. The person who told you that you weren't pretty may have also been told that at one point, or they may have had their self-esteem hurt in another way. Try not to let their personal issues become your problem.

   • How to deal with a bully: School counselor Katie Styzek says the best way to deal with a bully is to walk away and not react. "Just walking away doesn't really give them what they want," she says. "They want feedback and reaction and power."
     • Tell a trusted adult, such as your parents, a teacher, or a counselor, what's going on. Don't be silent about being bullied!
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   Remind yourself how amazing you are. There's more to being pretty than your physical appearance! Whenever you feel down about yourself, Styzek suggests that you "remind yourself of your amazing qualities." Maybe you're great at sports or make all A's in school. Maybe you go out of your way to be generous and kind. "Remain confident in your abilities and talents," says Styzek, and know that there's more to your value than beauty.
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   Accept your body the way it is at this moment. Dr. Gibbs says that acceptance protects your power. “You may not love everything about how you look, but you can still accept it.” We all have things we want to change and improve about ourselves. That's normal and healthy. But it's not healthy to hate your body for how it looks right now. Instead, dating coach John Keegan advises you to "Accept where you're at, love where you're at, and be in that body." It doesn't matter if society thinks you're pretty—you're still worthy of love and acceptance!
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   Enhance your natural looks with small but meaningful changes. Putting effort into looking pretty can be a beautiful act of self-love. But you don't need to change everything about yourself! According to relationship expert Joshua Pompey, "Something as simple as getting some new clothes, looking a little bit more stylish, or getting the right haircut" can help you gain confidence and feel more physically attractive.
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   Consider therapeutic practices. “For someone who struggles with insecurity about their appearance, or who recognizes an approval-seeking pattern, one therapeutic practice is to intentionally dress in an unflattering way on purpose,” according to Dr. Gibbs. “The goal is to invite the very disapproval you fear, so you can face it and discover you can handle it. In other words, you practice doing the opposite of what the bully is trying to force you to do. This is one way to take your power back and weaken the insecurity.”

   • Dr. Gibbs continues, “Many people reduce fear through exposure-based approaches such as ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention), which trains you to face the fear and refuse to be controlled by it.”
   • “Ultimately, the most mature way to live is to ground your worth in the depth of your character rather than in a shallow evaluation of appearance,” he says.
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