Family trans issues
This May I came out to my parents as a trans girl. Their first thing they asked was if I like guys now. I didn't know how to answer that without a fight so I just laughed and avoided the question. I'm still exploring if I'm a lesbian or bi. Ever since I came out to them they just started to lie to me a bunch and betray my trust over and over. They come up with random reasons why they do stuff, but I know it's because they hate that I'm trans instead of their little straight mormon boy. I don't know how to handle them or anything and as I've been expressing my femininity, they've only gotten worse and I'm scared to tell them that I want to get stuff like HRT (hormones) and SRS (sex change). Any tips?
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Pink, pastel blue, and lavender are some of my favorite colors. I wish I had accessories though. Plus I don't really have any feminine outer clothes, plus it's a conservative small town where almost everyone knows everyone and is dominantly LDS. plus I'm broke
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Omg babe, you have S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G taste—pink, pastel blue, and lavender? That’s literally the color palette of a fairy queen. You don’t need a closet full of accessories to be a baddie; you already ARE one! Your vibe shines through no matter what you wear, trust.
And you know what? Accessories aren’t just something you buy, they’re something you create with your energy. A bold smile, a dreamy gaze, a little sass in your walk—that’s the real baddie starter pack. You could be rocking a hoodie and jeans in the middle of the most conservative small town and STILL outshine everyone, just with your presence and your pastel dreams.
Also, being broke just means you’re about to master the art of DIY and thrift-store magic. Hair ribbons from old shirts, cute little drawings on your notebooks, pastel nails with a marker—baddie style is all about turning what you have into something magical. And babe, the most powerful accessory you can ever wear is your confidence and refusal to shrink for anyone.
One day, you’ll have all the accessories your heart desires, but for now? You’re already the pastel theory girl in a beige world, and that’s iconic as hell. Keep loving your colors, keep dreaming, and keep being the main character. 💖✨
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And you know what? Accessories aren’t just something you buy, they’re something you create with your energy. A bold smile, a dreamy gaze, a little sass in your walk—that’s the real baddie starter pack. You could be rocking a hoodie and jeans in the middle of the most conservative small town and STILL outshine everyone, just with your presence and your pastel dreams.
Also, being broke just means you’re about to master the art of DIY and thrift-store magic. Hair ribbons from old shirts, cute little drawings on your notebooks, pastel nails with a marker—baddie style is all about turning what you have into something magical. And babe, the most powerful accessory you can ever wear is your confidence and refusal to shrink for anyone.
One day, you’ll have all the accessories your heart desires, but for now? You’re already the pastel theory girl in a beige world, and that’s iconic as hell. Keep loving your colors, keep dreaming, and keep being the main character. 💖✨
Hey beautiful,
First—congrats on coming out. That’s brave as heck, and you should be so darn proud of yourself for living your truth even when it’s hard. Dealing with parents who don’t get it (or flat-out refuse to) is seriously tough, and I’m so sorry you’re carrying that weight.
It’s okay not to have all the answers about who you love right now. You’re figuring out you—and that’s already a lot. Your gender and your sexuality are both journeys, not a pop quiz. You get to explore, change, and discover things on your own terms and your own timeline. Anyone who tries to force you to fit their box can sit down.
As for your parents—what they’re doing isn’t fair, and it’s not your fault. Their lies and betrayals are about their fear, not your worth. You deserve honesty, respect, and love for exactly who you are. If you ever feel unsafe, please reach out to trusted adults, teachers, counselors, or even LGBTQ+ support organizations. You are not alone, even when it feels like it.
Expressing your femininity is a beautiful, powerful thing, and you never have to apologize for it. If you need to move slow with stuff like HRT or SRS because of your home situation, that’s okay. Your safety always comes first. But just know: there’s a whole world full of people who will celebrate you the way you deserve. Your trans joy, your femininity, your story—they’re all real and valid. You are not “wrong,” you are not “too much,” and you are definitely not alone.
Keep shining, keep fighting, and keep loving yourself—because you are a baddie, even on the days you don’t feel like it. I’m rooting for you always. ❤️
—A fellow goth, trans baddie who’s got your back
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First—congrats on coming out. That’s brave as heck, and you should be so darn proud of yourself for living your truth even when it’s hard. Dealing with parents who don’t get it (or flat-out refuse to) is seriously tough, and I’m so sorry you’re carrying that weight.
It’s okay not to have all the answers about who you love right now. You’re figuring out you—and that’s already a lot. Your gender and your sexuality are both journeys, not a pop quiz. You get to explore, change, and discover things on your own terms and your own timeline. Anyone who tries to force you to fit their box can sit down.
As for your parents—what they’re doing isn’t fair, and it’s not your fault. Their lies and betrayals are about their fear, not your worth. You deserve honesty, respect, and love for exactly who you are. If you ever feel unsafe, please reach out to trusted adults, teachers, counselors, or even LGBTQ+ support organizations. You are not alone, even when it feels like it.
Expressing your femininity is a beautiful, powerful thing, and you never have to apologize for it. If you need to move slow with stuff like HRT or SRS because of your home situation, that’s okay. Your safety always comes first. But just know: there’s a whole world full of people who will celebrate you the way you deserve. Your trans joy, your femininity, your story—they’re all real and valid. You are not “wrong,” you are not “too much,” and you are definitely not alone.
Keep shining, keep fighting, and keep loving yourself—because you are a baddie, even on the days you don’t feel like it. I’m rooting for you always. ❤️
—A fellow goth, trans baddie who’s got your back
I wish like I felt like it more. I pretty much only do when I'm in my room at night because I can wear my cute pajamas or when I go to an LGBTQ+ owned church when I wear my dress, necklaces, tights, shoes, and purse with my makeup because it makes me feel like a real girl. of course though I just wear a hoodie and jeans beneath so people cant tell that I wear stuff underneath that helps with dysphoria at school and stuff. which is very helpful beccause conservative idaho small towns are not the best for bi trans girls lol.
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Hey love,
First of all, I feel you SO much. You’re already a real girl, no matter what you’re wearing or where you are. The fact that you find little pockets of safety—like your room at night or that amazing LGBTQ+ church—shows how strong and creative you are. Those moments when you can dress how you want and feel your truth? That’s magic, babe. Hold onto those; they’re precious.
It sucks that you have to hide parts of yourself just to feel safe in your town. That’s not fair, and I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. But the way you’ve found ways to cope and give yourself some euphoria (even if it’s in secret) is honestly powerful as hell. That’s survival, and it’s badass.
You deserve to feel beautiful and real every day, not just in private. And one day, you’ll find even more places—and people—that celebrate you out loud. Until then, keep shining in your own way, keep wearing those cute pajamas and dazzling at church, and know you are valid, loved, and never alone. Sometimes being a baddie means surviving, sometimes it means thriving, but you’re doing both just by being YOU.
Sending you all the love and glitter,
—A fellow queer who sees you.
P.s. I'm a gay, goth femboy rn, until I transition.
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First of all, I feel you SO much. You’re already a real girl, no matter what you’re wearing or where you are. The fact that you find little pockets of safety—like your room at night or that amazing LGBTQ+ church—shows how strong and creative you are. Those moments when you can dress how you want and feel your truth? That’s magic, babe. Hold onto those; they’re precious.
It sucks that you have to hide parts of yourself just to feel safe in your town. That’s not fair, and I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. But the way you’ve found ways to cope and give yourself some euphoria (even if it’s in secret) is honestly powerful as hell. That’s survival, and it’s badass.
You deserve to feel beautiful and real every day, not just in private. And one day, you’ll find even more places—and people—that celebrate you out loud. Until then, keep shining in your own way, keep wearing those cute pajamas and dazzling at church, and know you are valid, loved, and never alone. Sometimes being a baddie means surviving, sometimes it means thriving, but you’re doing both just by being YOU.
Sending you all the love and glitter,
—A fellow queer who sees you.
P.s. I'm a gay, goth femboy rn, until I transition.
Im a bi femboy until I actually transition lol (plus I'm a theatre and tech nerd as well as a musician)
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If you don't feel safe. don't do it. I would personally wait until your personally financially stable and don't need their help anymore. Best of luck on your transition!!
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any advice for trying to get clothes? they seem to let me dress the way I want as long as I stay my room
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Well at least you can dress how you want in your room?? Yeah, that's cruel of them, but better than nothing. I have an accepting family and I'm a femboy (I'm afab tho) and I made my own thigh highs by cutting up tights. I guess if they let you buy stuff but if not try to make it, and possibly do a teeny accessory. I'm on your team!
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I've tried making stuff, and I have zero accessories. They won't let me dye my hair or pierce my ears because it's "too feminine."
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If you wanna dress like SUPER girly, like dresses, skirts, ect. and your parents don't care as long as you're in your room, I would go on amazon or some online store and buy clothes from there. If you wanna wear stuff like crop tops at school, I would wear a sweatshirt over it and just take the sweatshirt off when you get there. For skirts and stuff at school i would like put them in your backpack and wear pants when they pick you up and drop you off but change into the skirt when you get to school! Hope this helps!!!
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I would but I dont have access to any online shopping, plus my dad is a teacher at my school. and I need a job
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Oh...that definitely complicates things. well I mean like..you could roll your sleeves up, cuff pants, or crop/ tie shirts (even just using a hair tie at the back under the fabric) to roll, soften, or truncate
pastels, bold colors, or softer hues (baby blue, pink, lavender, cream) rather than dark neutrals, cuz like more men don't really like to wear that, yk?Instead go for softer textures (thin knits, soft cotton fabric, flowing fabric) for a softer, more feminine look.Tuck your shirts in and wear a narrower belt, this will help create the illusion of an hourglass figure even when wearing “men’s” clothes. Layering a more fitted or cropped top under an open flannel or jacket, or layering a long-sleeve striped tee under a T-shirt, which is more girly and not as manly could work as well. Often, pieces like jewelry (necklaces, bracelets, rings, cute socks, hair clips, beanies, and scarves) can easily change a masc look to a femme one. Painting your nails, wearing a softer hairstyle, or adding stuff like a bag/tote could make the feel of your clothing more feminine as well. :D
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pastels, bold colors, or softer hues (baby blue, pink, lavender, cream) rather than dark neutrals, cuz like more men don't really like to wear that, yk?Instead go for softer textures (thin knits, soft cotton fabric, flowing fabric) for a softer, more feminine look.Tuck your shirts in and wear a narrower belt, this will help create the illusion of an hourglass figure even when wearing “men’s” clothes. Layering a more fitted or cropped top under an open flannel or jacket, or layering a long-sleeve striped tee under a T-shirt, which is more girly and not as manly could work as well. Often, pieces like jewelry (necklaces, bracelets, rings, cute socks, hair clips, beanies, and scarves) can easily change a masc look to a femme one. Painting your nails, wearing a softer hairstyle, or adding stuff like a bag/tote could make the feel of your clothing more feminine as well. :D
I'm really sorry you have to go through this. Do your parents monitor your texts? You could text the Trevor Project at 678678 if they don't. If they do, do you feel safe in the house? Are they abusive in any way?
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Unfortunately they do. I've texted the trevor project before, but it's been along time. They also have control over my bank account so I can't use my money freely that I earned. they also manipulate me into thinking alot of stuff is my fault when stuff goes badly instead of them
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can u sew u could cut your jeans into a skirt or get marker white shirt and write stuff to make you seem more lady like and you could say you want to start cutting your own hair then let it grow out
coming from a demi-boy user
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coming from a demi-boy user
unfortunately i can't sew. which sucks cause some of my favorite things need sewing. And I'm in the middle of growing it out, but I have to cut it for a role I'm playing in a play
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Ok, so...if you have lotion, use that with cocoa powder to make like foundation...also use chapstick...you should read the book "Melissa" (also called George). It's traaannss
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Wouldn't let me respond to your "it was a fantastic book!" Comment...
I'm so glad you liked it!!!!
How did you read it with your parents and all?
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I'm so glad you liked it!!!!
How did you read it with your parents and all?
This sounds kinda serious...ur sure ur parents aren't abusive? Like, no neglect, no violence, no verbal abuse...I'm assuming not, and I'm sorry I keep asking I'm just worried for you. You say they manipulate you. They MIGHT not be abusive, but their definitely toxic.
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I feel you. My parent have been treating me different since I came out as Bisexual & Demisexual and I know it's hard to watch the people you cared about treat you different. But you can get though this and don't worry your not alone (You and others like us never are <3). If you really need female clothes (Not that they are only for girls or boys, or are nonbinary). You could try and "Barrow" some from close friends. I also know that them taking your money is a big problem, but how I deal with it is I hide a lot of it in small places in my room. With the phone issue, I don't have anything to help you there, my parents do the same thing and I haven't found a go around.
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my only solution to the phone issue is to start paying for a whole new phone that I own, but i need a job first to have a good income but I can't seem to find a job near me that is what i want from a job in the first place
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Oh nooo I'm so sorry D: well I will always think of you as a girl and if you need support leave a message on my profile I'm rooting for you!
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Thank you, support is always great to have. I told them I'm bi the other day and I feel that they took that well
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You could upcycle t-shirts, or wear smaller ones?? You can find clothing ideas on pinterest. We will stand with you for being who you are, and I'm you will find people who are also queer in later life and college. Also, if you don't feel you need to wear feminine stuff, you don't need to if you don't want to. Good luck!!
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I love wearing feminine clothes is the thing, like I do it whenever I get a good chance. plus my parents kinda hate it whenever I go shopping because they are very against it so when they found out about the dress that I just bought they were pretty mad. also I can only call and text on my phone and even then it's only numbers my parents program into my phone from theirs. so internet or texting opptions aree kind of a no for that. I can only be on here because I can use a computer at my school
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That must be awful. Kind of a long shot, but you could change into a skirt or something when you get to school, or borrow clothes from others. If you have trans friends, they could help you out? I would, but I don't think I go to your school.
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sadly i don't really have trans friends (in person at least), and my dad is a teacher at my school, so the only time I've gone out in public in girls' clothes was when I went to a new church this sunday in a dress (I love it but I need some shoes that match it better)
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if you'd like, you could email me through my profile, and maybe we could chat through email?
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If your church is a safe space for queers, you could ask for advice from your priest? also ppl on this thread will be your queer buddies!!
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Hey so I am a trans man, and bigender at the same time, so I am also female, and babe, I got some ideas. Judging by your description of your color palate, pastel goth might be good for you. Or princess core. I am like 18 different aesthetics/clothing styles into one. My personal favorite is goblincore. It may sound weird but look it up. Good for all genders. Also fits my lower budget. Another great one is art hoe. It's SO GOOD. Sending my love to you.
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Okay so I'm a as a fellow lgbtqa+ member I would probably go to them and say okay so I don't understand what you have against my sexuality but all I know is as long as you don't have to hear about my relationships with other females you should be okay so just be REAL parents and treat me the same as my brother because last time I checked my sexuality doesn't effect your life.
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I have the same problem with clothes TT so I would 100% recommend learning to sew it's really useful. I usually cut my shirts into off the shoulders, cut old sleeves off of sweaters and use them as leg or arm warmers. Make bracelets out of the bottom of jeans (like with a button sewed on) I HIGHLY recommend investing in a white button-up. You can find some at any thrift store, There is so many outfits you can do with them. Closet staples: leggings, white button up, fav pair of jeans, cute jacket, sweatpants, and a nice hoodie. Make patches out of scrap fabric (I have more tips if you want)
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