How Long Is Too Long to Be Left on Read? We Have the Answer

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Dating experts weigh in on how to react if your crush never replies

Co-authored by Chantal Heide and Elaine Heredia, BA

Last Updated: December 29, 2025 Fact Checked

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• How Long to Wait
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• How to React

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Have you been waiting by your phone for that special someone to text you back? How much time should you allow them to reply before giving up on the convo? If you're not sure how the person is feeling and they aren't responding, we're here to help. Keep reading for the definitive answer on how long to wait for a text response and tips on how to react when you don't receive a text back, with advice from dating and love experts.

How long should you wait for a text back?

Wait up to 7 days for a reply. If you don't get one, either move on from the conversation or send another text to see if they were just too busy to reply or forgot to respond. If they still don't respond or their answer is short, those are signs they're not interested, and it's best to let the conversation die.

Steps

Section 1 of 2:

How Long to Wait for a Text Response

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1. 
   Give them about a week to reach out. A week gives the other person enough time to thoughtfully respond. It may feel like a long time waiting for them to reach out, but keep your hopes up that they’ll text you back. They could realize that they miss talking to you and send a message. However, waiting any longer than a week to reply to your text is probably a sign they’re not interested.

   • Some people like to play hard to get. According to dating coach Cher Gopman, if your crush takes a while to respond, but they always do, "that's a sign that they could be interested in just playing hard to get." "Playing hard to get" is when someone withholds their attention to increase your interest and make you miss them.
   • Dating coach Chantal Heide recommends not waiting around for someone to text you back for at least the first 3 months, and to keep things strictly casual during that initial period. “Because what you're doing when you're waiting is you're putting your life on hold, you're putting your mental health on hold. You're putting your thoughts, your goals, your ambitions, what you could be doing for yourself on hold because you're waiting for somebody to get back to you,” she explains.
   • According to Heide, using this methodology keeps people grounded instead of creating a story in their mind. “This is why my dating book starts with meditation,” she says. “Meditation shrinks the amygdala, which is the part of your brain that's fight or flight, stress, fear, and anxiety.” Focusing on meditation can prevent you from anxiously waiting around for someone in those first 3 months. “It really keeps you grounded and calm,” she says.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Cher Gopman is a dating coach and the founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service. Her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

   Christina Jay, NLP, is a matchmaker and certified life coach with over 10 years of coaching experience. She specializes in finding love for successful and elite individuals.

   Kristina Mirgorodskaya is a dating coach with over 4 years of experience. She specializes in leveraging people skills, cultivating welcoming environments, and intercultural communication.

   Kate Dreyfus is a holistic love coach and intuitive healer with over 10 years of experience. She specializes in helping others through personal growth and transformation, success in dating and romance, and healing after a breakup.

   Chantal Heide is a dating coach and author of No More Assholes: Your 7 Step Guide to Saying Goodbye to Guys and Finding The Real Man You're Looking For.
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Section 2 of 2:

How to React When You Don't Receive a Text Back

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1. 
   1
   Assume they have good intentions. Rather than jumping to conclusions, give your texting partner the benefit of the doubt if they haven’t responded yet. You can’t be sure what came up in their life or if they’ve been caught up in something really important, so stay optimistic that they aren’t ignoring your messages.
2. 
   2
   Look at their past response times. Scroll back through your messages to see how frequently the person texted you in the past. If there has always been a lot of time between your messages and their responses, then the amount of time you’ve waited might be normal.

   • If they always take a long time to respond, matchmaker and certified life coach Christina Jay, NLP, says that could be a sign they're not interested. They may also not have the time to devote to a relationship.
   • If they normally messaged back and forth without a break, then their current snail's pace could simply be a sign that something in their life is distracting them from texting. It could also mean they're losing interest.
     • If they never resume their habit of responding quickly, it's safe to say they're no longer interested.
3. 
   3
   Check the quality of their messages. Read your past conversations and check how long and detailed the other person's messages have been so far. Even if they don’t send a lot of texts, long and thoughtful messages that keep the conversation going mean they like talking to you. They may have just gotten distracted and missed your last message.

   • If they sent short messages or didn’t seem involved in the convo, then it’s a sign they aren’t really invested.
   • Reader Poll: We asked 1120 wikiHow readers about why they would stop texting their crush first, and only 10% of them said if they only text first when they want something. [Take Poll]
     • People generally see short replies and long delays between texts as a lack of interest, so they might be more likely to stop texting first when they notice these behaviors, instead.
4. 
   4
   See if your last text needed a reply. Your texting partner might not feel the need to reply to texts that confirm information or don’t give them a lot to build a conversation on. Some texts that aren’t the best for getting replies are:

   • “Hey.”
   • “That’s cool!”
   • “Okay, see you then!”
5. 
   5
   Send one more message to grab their attention. Start a new conversation in case the person missed your message. If a few days or a week have passed, you’ve waited enough time since the last message. Launch a new topic rather than bringing up your last message. Just don’t bring up that they didn’t respond since it sounds passive-aggressive.

   • “Hey there! Hope you’re doing well! What was an exciting thing that happened today?”
   • “OMG I just had the craziest day at work. Hopefully it hasn’t been too busy for you!”
   • “Hi 😊 I finally saw The Batman. You were right, it was so good!! I have to hear your thoughts.”
   • Avoid sending more than 1 follow-up text. According to dating expert Kristina Mirgorodskaya, "Any more than 1 follow-up will not only make you seem desperate but could also annoy the other person if they don’t want to talk." She also adds, "If your crush doesn’t respond after 2 texts, it’s a clear sign to give [them] some space."
6. 
   6
   Try giving them a call. If you still haven’t gotten a text response after a week, call them and ask how they’re doing. Let them explain what they’ve been up to and how they’re feeling without getting upset that they haven’t texted you. If they sound sincere and apologetic, then it’s a good sign they still care and want to stay connected.

   • If the person makes short replies or doesn’t sound excited, it could mean that they’re not invested in your relationship.
7. 
   7
   Reassess your connection with the person. As you’re waiting for their reply, think about how the person has made you feel while you were chatting. Even if you thought they were attractive, think about how you connected with them on a deeper level and if they have the same values as you. If you recognize that you’re pretty different and didn’t have a strong bond, then it’ll feel easier to move on.
8. 
   8
   Move on if you still haven’t heard from them. You deserve someone who’s excited to chat with you! There are also probably a ton of other people who want to hear from you and care about their connection with you. If the person you’re texting doesn’t respect you enough to communicate their feelings, then they’re not going to be worth your time in the long run.

   • Use rejection as an opportunity for growth. Holistic love coach and intuitive healer Kate Dreyfus says, "Every person you date can be used as an opportunity for increasing your awareness, growth, empowerment, and reviewing what you are looking for in your ultimate romantic partner." They can also be used to review any areas where you may need to adjust your approach to romantic relationships.
   • Remind yourself of the end goal of your love life. Your end goal can be anything from simply having a partner to grow old with to finding love with someone who wants to build a family. Whatever it is, "Let that initiate your next move in your dating experience and… drive you forward," says Dreyfus.
9. 
   9
   Concentrate on yourself and other relationships. Reach out to your friends and family so you can chat and spend time with them, and take your mind off the person not messaging you back. Decompress by doing an activity without your phone, like going for a walk, reading, or any other hobby you enjoy.
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Join the Discussion...

Is expecting a text once an hour bad?

WikiNarwhalWatcher458

My SO and I have been dating for a few months and we text a lot since we're apart a lot when we're at work or school or even home because we don't live together. Recently, they're always taking a bit longer to reply. I'd really love to hear from them at leat once every hour, but idk if that would be a bad thing to ask. I don't really think that it's that unreasonable, but I'd love to hear what other people have to say about it.

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David Chambers
Dating and Relationship Coach

I do have thoughts on this. If you were one of my clients, the first thing I’d ask you is, “Why do you feel like you need to hear from them every hour? What do you feel, or what do you start to think is wrong? What are the thoughts you have about them or the relationship? Finally, maybe most important, what thoughts do you start having about yourself?”

So, first off, I’d encourage you to really consider those questions and know why you expect this. Maybe try journaling, and notice the emotions and feelings that you're having, or the somatic experience.

Then, I’d encourage you to have a conversation with your significant other. Maybe ask them, what level of communication would feel like too much for them as well?

Let’s say your partner expected communication every 15 minutes. How would you start to feel? Would that be too much? Try and get into a state of empathy, and understand what it might be like for your partner, if they wanted more communication than you’d be willing to give. Finally, chat with them about what is realistic for each of you to get on the same page. Maybe they can guarantee a message every eight hours, for instance, and you can get to a place you’re both happy about. If you’re still feeling anxious about communication levels, I’d encourage you to learn some tools around self-soothing.

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WikiBirdWatcher823

Sorry, but I think that's unreasonable. Texting someone every hour takes a lot of effort and will likely interrupt anything your partner is doing (hanging out with friends takes longer than an hour, doing work takes longer than an hour, etc.). I think it'd be more reasonable to expect a text once or twice a day, if you're willing to compromise. A text at least every hour is going to be 16+ texts a day depending on how much your partner sleeps. I understand that you might be anxious or insecure about your relationship but you might want to work on that instead of making your partner text you every hour.

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