How to Lie (And Get Away With It)

It’s almost always better to tell the truth than it is to lie, but it’s an unfortunate fact of life that everyone needs to tell a little fib every now and then. Whether it’s to spare someone’s feelings, avoid a pointless conflict, or keep a friend from feeling bad about something they shouldn’t worry about in the first place, there are undoubtedly scenarios where lying is appropriate. In this article, we’ll break down how to lie convincingly without losing track of your tale or giving the game away with your body language.

How to Lie Without Getting Caught

Tell simple lies to make it easier to track what you say.
Incorporate small, true details to give your lie the texture of the truth.
Don’t mention others in your lie (unless you’ve spoken to them and they’re on board).
Don’t raise your voice, break eye contact, or blink rapidly (these are signs you're lying).

Section 1 of 5:

How to Lie Effectively

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1
Keep your lie simple, but include a few details. Keep the details simple and easy to remember. A few essential details will make your lie seem legitimate, and keeping it simple will avoid overcomplicating your lie, which will make it harder to remember. An elaborate lie means more details you have to keep track of, and can often require more explaining. A simple, straightforward lie is easier to maintain.^{[1]
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- Say you want to lie about why you were late. An elaborate lie might be, “I’m late because when I got onto I-70, it was so backed up that I had to reverse all the way down the entrance ramp and I ended up taking country roads instead.” A simple version of that lie would be, “Traffic was pretty backed up on I-70.” The detail of “I-70” is enough to make the excuse believable.
2
Make your lie plausible. When you lie, only include believable information. Don’t exaggerate to a point where the listener will start to question what you are saying. Make your lie as realistic as possible.^{[2]
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- Be critical of your own lie and see if it seems reasonable. Don't only use your own judgment, but think about whether the person you are lying to will find it reasonable.
- For example, telling your wife that a bird flew into the house and broke her lamp is not a plausible lie. Telling her you stumbled over the dog and knocked the lamp over is more plausible.
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3
Include something truthful in the lie. Completely false lies may be more easily detected, but if you sprinkle truth into the lie, it will be more believable. Find a way to show proof that part of your lie is true to strengthen the lie as a whole.^{[3]
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- It is easier to express real emotion when you tell the truth than it is when you lie. If you emphasize the true part, you can mask your emotions.
- For example, say you stayed out late with a group of friends that included your ex-girlfriend, Holly. Tell your current girlfriend, “I was hanging out with Carl, Stacy, and Steve.” It’s true that you were with those people, but you’re lying about Holly being there, too.
4
Keep your voice steady and don’t raise your pitch. People often unconsciously change the pitch of their voice when they’re lying. Typically, they’ll move up an octave or so. Speak calmly and actively moderate the pitch of your voice so that it stays at your usual level. Make sure your voice is appropriate for the situation.^{[4]
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- The fact that the voice pitch rises during a lie is somewhat common knowledge, so people may be listening for it if they suspect you of lying.
- You can even speak slightly lower than you normally would to balance out the tendency to go higher.
- Also, pay attention to your tone and volume so that it is appropriate to the situation. Don’t speak with a cheerful tone if you need to sound sorry or a serious tone if your lie should sound encouraging.
5
Make sure your lie can’t be cross-checked with witnesses. Using someone as a witness or alibi makes your lie more complicated than it needs to be. On the other hand, constructing a lie where it’s easy to verify whether it’s true or not will just make the lie easier to catch. If the person you lie to checks your alibi, they may find out you lied.^{[5]
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- If you use someone else in your lie, be sure to tell them. Some people may not appreciate being part of your lie.
- If you are planning a lie ahead of time, at least talk to the person and see if they are willing to cover for you, as opposed to telling them after you already used them in a lie.
6
Use casual language and don’t break contractions up. A natural tendency during a lie is to become overly formal. People will notice the difference from your typical demeanor. Use contractions like “didn’t” and “wasn’t” as opposed to “did not” and “was not.” This is a major tell that someone might be lying.^{[6]
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- For example, say “I don’t know,” as opposed to “I am not entirely sure.”
- Bill Clinton’s famous lie, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” is a perfect example of an overly formal lie.
7
Lie ahead of time to avoid a tough conversation. Avoid lying under pressure by initiating the conversation about the subject you are lying about. Lie voluntarily before you are asked anything. The listener may not think you are lying since you volunteered the information.
- If the person you are lying to is already upset or suspicious, they are more likely to be critical of the lie you offer. If they have not thought of the situation yet, they may be more likely to accept what you say without further questions.
- If you go see your friend’s band and they sound terrible, go up to them after the set and say, “You guys rocked!” before they have a chance to ask you about it.
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Give straightforward, simple replies to follow-up questions. When you are asked questions, give a full answer, but don’t let yourself start to ramble. Don’t pause a lot or add unnecessary filler words. Rambling or getting off topic is one sure sign that you’re lying.^{[7]
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- It will take practice, but find the balance between an answer that is too short and one that is too long. Both can seem suspicious.
- Psychotherapist Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW, explains that lies can get out of hand fast if you overshare: “It may just be one sort of lie after another, and then it just kind of snowballs, and eventually [you may not] even realize [you’re] doing it.”^{[8]
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Section 2 of 5:

Controlling Your Body When You Lie

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This might seem like weird advice, but it’s really important. Not blinking and/or blinking very quickly is one of the biggest tells that someone is lying. Studies have shown that people naturally pick up on strange blinking patterns very easily, so make a conscious effort to blink the same way you normally would.^{[9]
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Make a healthy, normal amount of eye contact. People tend to naturally look away from the person they’re talking to when they’re lying. It’s a natural defense mechanism—the liar knows they’re doing something deceitful, so looking at the person they’re lying to feels uncomfortable. Be sure to lock eyes with the person you’re talking to while you lie.^{[10]
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- Keep your head up. Liars tend to tilt their head down a little bit when they’re telling a fib.
3
Keep your hands away from your face. Liars tend to fidget with their hands a lot. Keep your hands at your sides if you are standing or on your lap if you are sitting. Don’t rub your chin or your nose. Don’t run your hands through your hair.^{[11]
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- The exception is if you tend to gesture a lot when you speak. If you tend to move your hands while you talk, do that! Just be mindful of waiting too long to gesture. Liars tend to have really delayed hand gestures.^{[12]
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Remain still and stand upright. Swaying back and forth, tapping your foot, or generally moving a lot are signs that you are lying. Don’t shrug your shoulders a lot either. Keeping your whole body relaxed and unmoving adds poise to your appearance, and it will keep people from being suspicious.^{[13]
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- An upright posture communicates confidence, which is really important when it comes to selling your lie.
- Keep your arms open and not folded. Folding the arms is considered closed off posture, and when you lie, it is a giveaway to people. Don’t cross your arms. Keep them at your sides, or if you are sitting down, lay your hands on your lap.
- Face the person you’re talking to. Turning your body to the side or turning away is seen as a sign that you are trying to hide something.
5
Use physical touch to create intimacy if it’s appropriate. Don’t do this if you’re lying to your boss or something, but if you’re telling a fib to someone you know very intimately, a little bit of physical contact can really sell the fib. When you are lying, appropriately touch the person you are lying to. Place your hand on their shoulder, grab their hand, or gently touch their leg if you are sitting by them. By touching them, you will soften them toward you and make them more trusting.^{[14]
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- Consider whether or not you are in a close enough relationship with the person to initiate physical touch with them. In many situations, this won’t be the case.

Section 3 of 5:

Getting Caught in a Lie

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1
Admit that you lied and apologize. At some point, you may be caught in a lie. Someone may have found a video that proves you lied or documents of some kind. Rather than extend the lie and make things worse, admit what you did, apologize, and face the consequences.^{[15]
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- You will usually gain some credibility back with the person by admitting it rather than lying again.
- Learn from your mistakes and try to avoid them the next time you need to lie about something.
- This may seem counterintuitive, but you will soon find that a huge amount of weight will be lifted from you, and you won't have to keep lying.
- Don’t try to buy time to avoid a tough conversation. Miller says, “Especially if you've been lying for a while, the sooner you come clean, the better.” Then you can get to work rectifying the situation.^{[16]
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  Psychotherapist
  
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2
Explain why you lied without making it an excuse. Once you admit the lie, you are likely to be questioned further. Do not try to justify why you lied, but explain what your thought process was. Tell the person why you felt you needed to lie and why the truth would not have worked for you.^{[17]
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- The person may not accept your explanation or may say it does not make sense or is not good enough. Do not argue, but affirm to them that you stand by your reasoning, even if it ended up being wrong.
3
Tell the person how you will make up for it. Miller explains that lying is likely to cause damage in one way or another, so once you are caught, you will have to fix things.^{[18]
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Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist

Expert Interview} Give the person some concrete steps you plan to take to remedy the situation. Be honest about what you are going to do and then follow through on doing it.^{[19]
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- The things you need to fix may not be problems as much as strained relationships. You may need to do some emotional work to show your remorse and make up for the lie.

Section 4 of 5:

Memorizing a Complex Lie

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Write down the details of the lie. One of the hardest things about lying is keeping up with what you said. It's even harder if you have to repeat the lie to many people over the course of time. The best way to avoid this is to write down the lie.^{[20]
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- If you have time to plan the lie out, write it down first. If you lie spontaneously, write down who you lied to and what you said.
- If the lie is time-sensitive and will go away, you may not have to keep track of the paper you wrote the lie on for very long. If the consequences of the lie are long-term, you’ll need to put the paper somewhere safe.
- Writing helps you make things clear and remember them. Even if you immediately throw the paper away, writing can help you establish the lie in your mind.
2
Practice saying the lie out loud. If something is true, it is often easier to remember, but if you are lying, you may forget exactly what you want to say. Repeating a lie over and over again will help you deliver it more effectively.^{[21]
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- When you are lying on the spot, you may not have the chance to practice your lie. You can repeat what you said later on, so you remember exactly how you lied.
- If you have time to practice the lie ahead of time, you can recite it in different ways to find the best delivery of the lie.
- If the lie is really important, try practicing in the mirror. How you tell a lie is just as important as the lie itself, so practice selling it authentically.
3
Record a video of yourself lying. For small lies, a video camera is not necessary, but if you are preparing a big, important lie, film yourself and review the tape. Watch yourself on video to decide if the lie sounded convincing. If not, keep adjusting your delivery until it sounds convincing.^{[22]
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- This is like saying the lie to yourself in a mirror, but saying it to a mirror is actually more distracting. Taking a video of yourself will help you see whether your delivery looked convincing or not.
- If your delivery is believable, watch the video a few times to memorize the wording and presentation of the lie.

Section 5 of 5:

When is it OK to lie?

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It’s acceptable to lie if you’re preventing harm and it’s unimportant. Unless you’re in a situation where you’re being compelled to tell the full truth (like a partner begging for feedback on whether a dress looks good or not), it’s okay to tell a small lie if you’re saving someone’s feelings and the outcome of the lie doesn’t materially impact anything. Let’s look at some examples.^{[23]
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- Your friend’s music is terrible, and they ask if you like it. Does it matter if your friend thinks you like their music when you don’t? Not really. Would it hurt their feelings if you didn’t? Probably. This is a great example of a reasonable lie.
- A friend wants advice about whether they’re being rude. This is an example where you might hurt their feelings if you tell the truth, but you should probably do it anyway. The outcome matters—your friend wants feedback on if they did something wrong, and not giving them honest info may get them into trouble later if they don’t change their ways.
- Just ask yourself, “What happens if I lie here?” If the answer to this question is “nothing important except a person feels better about themselves,” then it’s probably acceptable to lie. Trust yourself. You’ll intuitively know when it’s right or wrong to lie.

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How do you get out of a lie if you are caught a long time after you told it?

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You might be able to play dumb and say you didn't know you were lying, like you didn't have all of the information that you needed. Or you can just say "I'm sorry I lied at the time but i feel differently about the situation now." Or you can just stick to what you said and refuse to acknowledge that it was a lie.

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How could I lie to my therapist about my depression?

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I wouldn't recommend doing this. Lying to your therapist about your symptoms means you cannot get the proper treatment. If you aren't going to get the treatment you need, then there's no point in wasting your therapist's time.

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How do I play dumb?

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Deny any knowledge of the topic. Don't continue to deny the knowledge itself, because that will look suspicious. You could also try to change topic or ask a question that is close to what the topic is, but not too far away from what the topic was.

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Tips

If you lie too often, you may lose track of your lies, or you may not be trusted. If you lie less often, the times you do lie may go unnoticed.

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If you sound confident, it will be more believable.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Try to only lie about small things, like saying that you feel under the weather if you want to say "no" to an invitation to hang out. You're more likely to get caught if you try to lie about bigger things.
Ask yourself if you really need to lie. Most of the time, telling the truth is the best way to go because lies can hurt others and be unkind or disrespectful.
Don't act relieved when the other person believes your lie—this will for sure give it away. Instead, act as you normally would when you say something true.

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Warnings

Lies are often found out, and some lies have much larger consequences than others. It is always good to ask yourself if lying is worth the risk.

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It is never a good idea to lie in legal matters, as the consequences could be significant.

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