80+ Light Bulb Jokes to Light Up Your Life

How many wikiHow authors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? We'll get back to you on that! But in the meantime, if you're looking for hysterical lightbulb jokes, you've come to the right place. Keep scrolling for all the funniest and most groan-inducing lightbulb jokes we could find, including some kid-friendly options as well as some edgier jokes!

Hilarious Light Bulb Jokes

How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on what you want to change it into.
How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? We don’t know. They’re still arguing about it.
How did the hipster burn his hand? He changed the lightbulb before it was cool.
How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Toucan do it.

Section 1 of 7:

Best Light Bulb Jokes

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These lightbulb jokes are sure to brighten your smile. How can you not grin after hearing a clever lightbulb joke? This joke format is a classic for a reason—it's versatile, but no matter how many lightbulb jokes you hear, they'll always get the giggles going:
- How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Depends on what you want to change it into.
- How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
- How many jugglers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One, but it takes at least three lightbulbs.
- How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
  - Just one. They hold it, and the whole world revolves around it.
- How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
- How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change to a lightbulb?
  - None, they just let it burn out and follow it around for a few decades.
- How many boring people does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One.
- How did the hipster burn his hand?
  - He changed the lightbulb before it was cool.
- Scientists have determined how many people it takes to screw in a lightbulb.
  - It’s less than to screw in a heavy bulb.
- How many mystery-genre writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
- How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - I don’t know; I’ll have to get back to you on that.
- One.
  - How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?
- How many DIY buffs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - Only one, but it takes him two weekends and three trips to the hardware store.
- How many Apple enthusiasts does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - They don’t change the lightbulb; they just buy a new house.
- How many Type A personalities does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - One to screw in the lightbulb and one to tell him he’s doing it all wrong.
- How many Victorians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - We do not discuss such things with ladies and children present.
- How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - Five hundred. One to hold the lightbulb and 499 to turn the house.

Section 2 of 7:

Light Bulb Jokes for Kids

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Break out these jokes for some family-friendly fun. Lightbulb jokes can easily wander into PG-13 territory, but there are plenty of lightbulb jokes that are accessible and appropriate for young'uns!
- How many elves does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One to change it and nineteen to stand on each other’s shoulders.
- How many roaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - No one knows, because when the light comes on they scatter.
- How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Depends on what you want to change it into.
- How many mothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - None, because they will get you to do it.
- How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Toucan do it.
- How many millennials does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - I don’t know, but it’s an odd number because they just can’t even.
- Why do lightbulbs hate us?
  - Because we flip them off all the time.
- How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
  - One to change it, and one to sniff the first ones’ butt.
- How many Jedis does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - Just Wan.
- How many Paul Reveres does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - One, if by land, and two, if by sea.
- How many fishermen does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Only one, but you should have seen the size of that lightbulb!
- How long does it take a performance artist to change a lightbulb?
  - I don’t know; I left after the first hour and a half.
- How many mutants does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Two-thirds.
- Why should you never ask a skeleton to change a lightbulb?
  - ‘Cause nobody will show up.

Section 3 of 7:

Light Bulb Jokes for Adults

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These lightbulb jokes aren't offensive, but they're targeted at grownups. Kids don't know what "fatalists" and "televangelists" are right? (Heck, adults barely understand them.) These lightbulb jokes lean just a tad more mature:
- How many televangelists does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One, but for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
- How many beta testers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - None. They just find the problems; they don’t fix them.
- How many graduate students does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Only one, but it takes nine years.
- How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?^{[1]
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  - What does it matter? We’re all gonna die anyway.
- How many Einsteins does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It’s all relative.
- How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - There is nothing to change.
- How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.How many Redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - One to do it, post it, and not get credit for it; one to repost it as they did it; and one to state that the video is actually fake and it never happened.
- How many Mac users does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - You have to replace the whole motherboard.
- How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward the maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
- A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier. “Do you have any two-watt bulbs?”
  - “For what?” “That’ll do, I’ll take two.” “Two what?” “I thought you didn’t have any.” “Any what?” “Yes, please!”

Section 4 of 7:

Job-Related Light Bulb Jokes

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How many lawyers, teachers, and Hollywood executives does it take? Find out here. Lightbulb jokes are classically used to make fun of various professions. Keep scrolling to find the perfect joke to playfully rib the doctor, bureaucrat, or politician in your life:
- How many doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
- How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - If the lightbulb needed changing, the market would have already done it.
- How many SWAT team members does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One to change it, and one to shout GO! GO! GO!
- How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Just one, but he’ll also want to do something about your nose.
- How many doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - That depends on whether it has health insurance.
- How many screenwriters does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Oh God, now they want to change the lightbulb?!
- How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
- How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  - One, or two? One… or two?
- How many bureaucrats does it take to put it in a lightbulb?
  - One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done while the other inserts the bulb into the water faucet.
- How many carpenters does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One to hold it; one to hammer it in.
- How many astronauts does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - It takes two astronauts to change a light bulb. Astronaut number one to hold the lightbulb and astronaut two to rotate astronaut number one.
- How many NASCAR drivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - None, they can only go left.
- How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - We don’t know. They’re still arguing about it.
- How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Only one, but she has to do it while you’re eating dinner.
- How many sociologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - The lightbulb is fine — the system has to change.
- How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.
- How many IRS agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - Only one, but it really gets screwed.
- How many surgeons does it take to replace a lightbulb?
  - We’d also like to remove the socket as you aren’t using it now.
- How many Game of Thrones plot writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Only two, but they’ll wait six or seven seasons before screwing it up.
- How many radio astronomers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - They’re not interested in the short-wave stuff.
- How many shipping department personnel does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - We can change the bulb in 7 to 10 working days, but if you call before 2 p.m. and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight.
- How many jazz musicians does it take to replace a lightbulb?
  - A-one, a-two, a one-two-three-four!
- How many Hollywood executives does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Just one, but you have to promise creative control and an $80 million budget and that someone on the level of Tom Cruise will star.
- How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One one, but it takes six visits.
- How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - How many can you afford?
- How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to dial one of their subordinates to actually change it.
- How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
- How many stock brokers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes knowing that it’s already burned out.

Section 5 of 7:

Edgy Light Bulb Jokes

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Tread lightly (get it?) with some of these jokes… Lightbulb jokes are often more mature and even offensive at times. If you're going to try one of these classically edgy jokes, just be aware of your audience (and be prepared to zip your lips and sit down if anyone takes offense).
- How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?^{[2]
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  - Both of them.
- How many Brexiters does it take to replace a lightbulb?
  - One to promise a brighter future and one to screw it up.
- How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - They always use candles.
- How many a**holes does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - None, a**holes never see the light anyway.
- How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Sex.
- How many WASPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - One to call the electrician and one to fix the martinis.
- How many Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - At least 15. One to change the lightbulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
- How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - Two, but nobody knows how they got in there.
- How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - Just two… but they have to be reeeeaaally tiny.
- How many baby boomers does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - They just hire someone to do it and complain how back then a bulb used to cost a nickel.
- How many Floridians does it take to change a lightbulb?
  - Who knows? They’re still counting.
EXPERT TIP

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Avoid joking about topics that could be sensitive or triggering. Be mindful of any signals that the other person may not be comfortable with the humor.

Section 6 of 7:

A Brief History of Light Bulb Jokes

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Lightbulb jokes originated in the late 1960s and 1970s. These jokes were created to target specific groups (often derogatorily) by incorporating punchlines that highlighted a stereotype about that group. There are lightbulb jokes satirizing many different cultures, religious groups, and professions, but early versions of this joke targeted Polish people.
- While lightbulb jokes can get offensive quickly, it's not unusual for the tellers of the jokes to be, themselves, members of the group being satirized. (As far as telling a joke satirizing a group of people you're not a part of? Probably best not to!)
- That said, even if you're a member of a group you'd like to poke playful fun at with a silly lightbulb joke, read the room: make sure everyone in hearing range is on board with some lighthearted stereotyping.
- How do you know when it's appropriate to tell an edgy joke? As comedian Manuel Garavito notes, it's important to ask yourself what your intent is before telling a joke: "Are you trying to harm? Punch down? Punch up? Or just alleviate an awkward situation? Intention is a big factor."^{[3]
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- But Event Planner, Social Media Consultant & Content Creator Christa Innis sums it up even more succinctly: "If you find yourself wondering, 'Should I say this joke?' that’s usually a sign you shouldn’t."^{[4]
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