Expert Guide: Get Over A Crush On Your Best Friend

Question

I've been trying for years to get over my best friend. All these feelings are weighing me down with guilt, but if I tell her I'm afraid it'll be awkward and I'll lose her. What do I do?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor

Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Having courage and being vulnerable is important, especially in relationships. You may find that being open not only helps get rid of your guilt but may make the relationship stronger as well. If it does not work out, then at least you won't feel guilty anymore and won't spend your time on someone who does not feel the same way about you.

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Question

I might be moving away from my best friend who is also my crush we speak every day. How do I get over him?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor

Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Make sure to clearly tell him your concerns and feelings. He may still want to have you as a friend in his life. Technology has made connecting over long distances easier.

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Question

Is it bad to like your best friend?

Community Answer

Nothing is wrong about loving your best friend. Regardless of whether the relationship is best or meant to be, feelings are neither good nor bad. They just are.

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Question

How long does this usually take? I have the exact same condition. I want to come back as her best friend as soon as possible

Community Answer

Falling out of love is different for everyone. It may take anywhere from days, weeks, or months. Give yourself time alone and set healthy boundaries with her so that when you're ready for the friendship, you can approach it in a healthy way.

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Question

What if you need space and he wants to talk to you but you can't?

Community Answer

If you feel comfortable, you could share your feelings with him so he knows why you need space. If not, however, let him know that you're going through a hard time. Tell him that you care about him and that this is not his fault but that you need some time alone.

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Question

Should we talk about it in person even after we talk about it through text?

Community Answer

Talking it out in person can help if you feel like there is more to discuss. If you feel like you left the conversation at a good place, however, just play it by ear. You may not need to bring it up.

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Question

Should you tell your best friends that you have feeling towards them?

Community Answer

This depends on the situation. If you think the vulnerability would strengthen your friendship, then that could be a good idea. If you think this would make the crush harder to get over, consider not telling them. You might end up arousing more painful feelings.

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Question

My friend and I normally kiss when we greet or saying our goodbyes. Now how do I avoid such to happen? Because it kill me and if I don't kiss her, she gets mad at me.

Community Answer

You could open up to you about her feelings and ask to set new boundaries. If you don't feel like telling her is the best idea, however, just let her know that kissing makes you uncomfortable and ask her to respect your feelings.

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Question

They say they might go out with me, and I can't help but hold on to that hope. How to deal with this?

Community Answer

Try dating other people. Holding one to one person, especially if they aren't dating you, can lead to loneliness. If you date around, you may find someone else with positive qualities.

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Question

My best friend and I are really close. We're together all the time in school. We are practically inseparable. He always talks about his girlfriend. What should I do?

Community Answer

Spend some time apart from him for a while and let yourself process your emotions. If he talks about his girlfriend often, you could also change the subject or ask him if you could talk about something else.

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