How to Stop Liking Your Crush & Move on With Your Life

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Human behavior expert Jeffrey Fermin shares tips for getting over your crush & taking care of yourself

Co-authored by Jeffrey Fermin and Samantha Fulton, BA

Last Updated: April 28, 2026 Fact Checked

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Getting over a crush is the worst, but you don’t have to do it on your own—we’re here to help you through this tough time. For this guide, we partnered with relationship experts to help us create this list of tips to stop liking someone (and take care of yourself in the process). Whether your crush is taken, emotionally unavailable, or simply unrequited, we’ve got you covered. Keep reading to learn how to stop liking your crush and reclaim your life.

How do you stop liking someone?

Human behavior expert Jeffrey Fermin says you can get over your crush by accepting your feelings, maintaining distance, grieving the loss, and self-reflecting. Some other steps to move on include talking and journaling about your feelings, keeping yourself occupied with friends and hobbies, and keeping a routine.

1

Acknowledge your feelings.

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Fermin suggests accepting that “it’s natural to develop feelings and attractions.”^{[1]
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Expert Source

Jeffrey Fermin
Human Behavior Expert

Expert Interview} Allow yourself to feel disappointed and upset. Make sure you’re labeling your feelings as they come up so you’ll know what to address going forward. Don’t judge yourself for the emotions that come up during this time—you’re allowed to work through things in your own way.

Meet the wikiHow Experts

Jeffrey Fermin is a human behavior and employee relations expert based in Miami, Florida. Through his work, he has developed extensive experience with understanding human behavior.

Donna Barnes is a certified life and love coach based in New York City, New York. She has over 18 years of experience.

Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression.

2

Distance yourself.

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Take some space from your crush so you can heal. Fermin says it’s crucial to reduce contact and exposure.^{[2]
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Jeffrey Fermin
Human Behavior Expert

Expert Interview} Constantly seeing the person you like will be more likely to confuse you and stir up your emotions. Give yourself the time and space you need to process your feelings fully.
- If your crush is a close friend, it’s better to communicate why you need space, rather than disappearing entirely. Let them know that you want to maintain your friendship but you need time and distance to work through your feelings.

3

Avoid their social media.

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Part of keeping your distance means not checking up on them all the time. “If they're on your social media, consider muting or unfollowing them for a while,” advises Fermin.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Jeffrey Fermin
Human Behavior Expert

Expert Interview} If you won’t be able to help yourself from checking their profile, you can try deleting social media apps from your phone while you work through your feelings.

4

Mute or delete their contact.

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If you want to stop liking them, it’s time to delete your text thread with them and mute their notifications. If you really need to avoid reaching out, you can delete their contact. Remember, none of this has to be permanent—if you want to be friends later on, these are reversible actions.

5

Talk to your support network.

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This can be a friend, family member, or therapist. Getting over a crush can be draining and painful, but you don’t have to do it alone. “Sharing your feelings with a trusted friend can provide a fresh perspective and emotional support,” notes Fermin.^{[4]
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Jeffrey Fermin
Employee Relations Expert

Expert Interview}

6

Write about your feelings.

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Dating and relationship coach Donna Barnes says writing is a good way to process the situation.^{[5]
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Donna Barnes
Dating and Relationship Coach

Expert Interview} Use your journal to label your feelings and get to the root of your emotions. You can write about why you have feelings for this person, why you want to stop liking them, or what you want to do to move on. Remember, you don’t need to follow specific rules—sometimes free-writing about whatever thoughts and feelings come to mind can be therapeutic.

7

Focus on the reality of the situation.

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Relationship psychologist Jessica January Behr, PsyD suggests identifying the reality of what you know about the situation.^{[6]
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Jessica January Behr, PsyD
Relationship Psychologist

Expert Interview} If you’re trying to stop liking someone, you probably already have some good reasons in mind. Whether they’re emotionally unavailable or they just don’t feel the same way, remind yourself why you need to get over them. You can ask your friends to hold you accountable, or you can physically write out your reasons for moving on.

8

Mourn the loss.

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While it’s not a death, overcoming feelings for someone has a mourning period of its own. “Allow yourself to grieve the idea of the relationship,” advises Fermin.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Jeffrey Fermin
Human Behavior Expert

Expert Interview} If it helps, you can even have a “funeral” for the relationship/connection. Remember, your healing timeline may look different than someone else’s—there’s no shame in feeling your feelings.

9

Reframe how you think about them.

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A lot of the time, we over-idealize crushes and place them on a pedestal. Barnes says to “knock them off the pedestal and find what is unattractive about them.”^{[8]
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Donna Barnes
Dating and Relationship Coach

Expert Interview} You don’t need to decide you hate them or tell yourself they’re a terrible person, but it can be productive to remind yourself that they’re a normal person with flaws. You can start this process by reminding yourself of the reasons you need to stop liking them.

10

Self-reflect to get to the root of your feelings.

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Understanding the root of your feelings can help you find closure. “Sometimes, crushes serve as distractions from personal issues,” says Fermin.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Jeffrey Fermin
Human Behavior Expert

Expert Interview} It’s worth investigating whether your lingering crush reveals underlying emotions and thought patterns that have nothing to do with the person themself. Journal about what this process has taught you, or discuss it with your friends. Some questions you can ask yourself during this time include:
- What feelings is this person bringing up?
- Why do I seek this particular person’s affection?
- Are my feelings for this person connected to any past emotional experiences?
- What is the root of my attachment to this particular person?

11

Know your worth.

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Remember that not being able to be with your crush doesn’t reflect on you or your value. You deserve a connection that feels secure and doesn’t leave you sad or confused. Next time you’re journaling, write a list of the things you love about yourself—anyone would be lucky to be with you!

12

Spend time with friends.

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It’s crucial to pour into your social life when you’re getting over someone. This is a good way to distract yourself, says Fermin.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Jeffrey Fermin
Human Behavior Expert

Expert Interview} Alone time and self-reflection helps, but you should also spend time with people who understand you and make you happy. Spend some time with your friends to get your mind off of your crush—try to avoid talking about them during these hangouts.
- Call up your best buds and plan to hang out on the weekend or have a sleepover.
- Join a new club or sports team.
- Volunteer at a local hospital, nursing home, or pet shelter.

13

Start a new hobby.

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Taking up a hobby is a great way to get your mind off your crush. Fermin notes, “Staying occupied can divert your attention.”^{[11]
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Expert Source

Jeffrey Fermin
Human Behavior Expert

Expert Interview} Is there something you’ve been wanting to try? Now’s the time to go for it! Investing time and energy into new activities is a rewarding and productive way to distract yourself. New hobbies can also be a great way to meet new people who share your interests.
- Join clubs through your school, or Google meetup groups where you live!

14

Keep a routine.

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It’s important to keep your life going when you’re getting over someone. As tempting as it might be to cancel plans or avoid responsibilities, you’ll feel better if you maintain a consistent routine.^{[12]
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Research source} Going to classes or work will keep you occupied. Plus, if you stay in a routine of seeing your friends, classmates, or coworkers, you’ll still have a bustling social life waiting for you once you get through this rough patch. You got this!
- You can even schedule time to do simple tasks like going to the store or going for a walk.
- If you’re feeling depressed, it can also help to schedule times to eat, sleep, and wake up.
- You can also schedule worry time if you’re dealing with intrusive thoughts. Having scheduled time to overthink or process your feelings can help prevent your crush from overtaking your daily life.^{[13]
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15

Pursue things you’re passionate about.

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This is another great way to pour into your own cup while you move on. Fermin says to engage in things that you love while you’re processing your feelings.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Jeffrey Fermin
Human Behavior Expert

Expert Interview} If you put any passions or projects on the backburner while you were navigating things with your crush, this is the perfect time to pick them back up. Do you need to start your college applications? Is there an internship you’ve been meaning to apply for? Has your creative writing project been sitting untouched for months? Time to dive back into the things you care about!
- Pursuing your passions is a great distraction, but it also helps ensure that you still end up with the life you want when you come out the other side of this.

16

Ask for closure.

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If you feel ready, asking for closure can be a great way to close the chapter. It’s usually best to give yourself and the person you like time before you reach out. But once you feel like you’ve reached a healthy place mentally, it can help to have a conversation with your crush to help you put it behind you.^{[15]
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Research source} Ask them to call or meet in person to talk things out and get closure.
- Note: This is not going to be the right move for everyone, and that’s okay. If you think seeing your crush will open up old wounds or bring back your feelings for them, give yourself more time. Everyone’s healing timeline is different, and you don’t need to do anything you’re not ready for.

17

Find a new crush.

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Once you’ve processed your feelings, it’s good to get back out there! Starting to flirt or date again is a great way to rebuild your self-esteem and remind yourself that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Even if you still have some lingering feelings, establishing a new connection might help you let go. “Get yourself out there so you can meet somebody who is available to you,” says Barnes.^{[16]
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Expert Source

Donna Barnes
Dating and Relationship Coach

Expert Interview} You never know who you might meet!
- Keep things casual at first. Focus on meeting someone new and casually flirting. Spend some time hanging out with them. Aim to simply fill your social calendar, enjoy nice company, and have a good time.

18

Be patient with yourself.

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Healing and moving on takes time. “Feelings don’t change overnight,” notes Fermin.^{[17]
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Expert Source

Jeffrey Fermin
Human Behavior Expert

Expert Interview} Don’t beat yourself up if it’s taking longer than expected to stop liking them. Just remember that everything is temporary, and you will get through this. Accept your feelings and allow yourself to work through your emotions in your own time. A lot of times, trying to force yourself to get over someone draws the process out, so just be patient with yourself. You’ll be over it sooner than you think.
- Reader Poll: We asked 2331 wikiHow readers what’s the longest a crush has lasted for them, and 63% of them said over a year. [Take Poll] It’s totally normal if it takes you a while to get over your crush, especially if you’ve liked them for a long time!

19

See a therapist.

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If it’s starting to impact your daily life, it might be time to seek additional help. There’s no shame in asking for help if you find that you’re unable to carry out your day to day tasks or take care of yourself. Everyone processes feelings differently, and if you need additional support, don’t hesitate to take care of yourself. Some signs that it might be time to see a professional include:^{[18]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists

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- Intrusive thoughts that interfere with your productivity or ability to complete simple tasks
- Isolating yourself from friends or family
- Inability to eat, sleep, or take care of personal hygiene
- Thoughts of self-harm

Get Over Your Crush with this Expert Series

Crushing over someone you can't have is both draining and distracting. Learn how to move past these feelings and take back control of your life with this expert series.