Let Us Tell You Why You're Not In a Relationship

Find out why love hasn't found you yet!

Romance is great, but many of us spend a large chunk of our lives single (and perfectly happy, thank you very much!). But the question is: Why are you single?

You don't have to want romance, but knowing why it's not in your life right now can help you sort some things out and get to know yourself better. Answer a few simple questions, and we'll tell you why we think you're single right now!

An illustration of one hand making half a heart, and another rejecting it.

Quizzes Are More Fun With Friends

Questions Overview

1. Have you been in a relationship before?
  1. Yup.
  2. Nah, not yet.
  3. It's complicated.
2. What kind of love sounds most appealing to you?
  1. Something casual and no-pressure.
  2. Something committed and long-term.
  3. Honestly? Neither of these.
3. Would you say it's easy for you to open up to new people?
  1. Totally. I'm an open book!
  2. Sometimes, but we have to really click.
  3. Not really. I'm a slow burn.
4. A cutie who's totally your type is obviously flirting with you. What do you do?
  1. Flirt right back. Let's see where this goes!
  2. Interact, but don't flirt. I don't want to encourage them.
  3. Blow them off. Nice try, buster.
5. Would you say you're lonely?
  1. Not really. I'm pretty happy!
  2. Sometimes, but I have friends who cheer me up.
  3. Sure, but I know it'll pass.
6. Do you feel like there's a perfect person for everyone?
  1. Absolutely. They're out there waiting!
  2. Idk. Nobody's perfect, but everyone's got a match...
  3. No way. Some people are meant to be single, and that's okay!
7. 10 years from now, you see yourself...
  1. Going steady with a special someone.
  2. Single and living my best life.
  3. Who knows? Whatever happens, happens.
8. Are you on any dating apps right now?
  1. Yeah
  2. Nah
9. How would you feel if you knew for certain you'd be single forever.
  1. Fine. There's more to life than romance!
  2. Bummed. I was hoping I'd find someone...
  3. Devastated. Noooooooo!!
10. Are you the type to make the first move?
  1. No way. They gotta say something first.
  2. If I like them enough, maybe.
  3. Totally! I'm not afraid to chase someone.

More Quizzes

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Being Happy Being Single

It can be hard to be single when it feels like the world was made for lovers. But the truth is that most people in the world are single, and plenty of them are perfectly happy to stay that way. It doesn't mean they'll never find loveβ€”just that it's not a priority, and doesn't have to be. That's why we talked to romance experts to show us how to be single and happy, too!

  • Relationship coach Cristina Morara says that when you're single, "Say YES to every invitation! Be curious. Look at your life as an adventure with endless possibilities. Engage with the world around you instead of your phone."[1]
  • Clinical psychologist Allison Broennimann, PhD, suggests using your time on other relationships: "When you are without a romantic relationship, know that these times are the time to deepen your relationship with yourself, your family, friends, and community."[2]
  • Matchmaker and dating coach Michelle Jacoby agrees, and adds: "One's happiness should not depend on one's spouse... it's important to have a group of friends and people in your life and activities in your life that are fulfilling."[3]
  • Love coach Kate Dreyfus says to focus on yourself, too: "It is vital to have in your daily practice a routine of acknowledging, validating, and cultivating higher levels of your self-love, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-value, and self-worth to create a strong foundation within yourself."[4]
  • Relationship coach Amy Chan agrees, saying, "The best thing about being single is that you have time, energy and headspace to focus on your relationship with yourself β€” to be the best version of yourself and exercise your muscles of being your own source of love, validation, and joy."[5]

Want to learn more?

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References

  1. ↑ Cristina Morara. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  2. ↑ Allison Broennimann, PhD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
  3. ↑ Michelle Jacoby. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  4. ↑ Kate Dreyfus. Love Coach. Expert Interview
  5. ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview

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