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This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Cheyenne Main. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
There are 23 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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When you’re deep in the dating game, knowing what qualities to look for in a guy can help you recognize who’s long-term partner material. If you’re wondering whether your new love interest is a keeper, try looking at some of the qualities below and seeing if you can check off most of the boxes. We interviewed Licensed Clinical Psychologist Dr. Chloe Charmichael to find out the best traits to look for in a potential partner. Keep reading to learn more!
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat should I avoid or some common mistakes when finding a partner?
John KeeganJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
Dating CoachOne of the prevalent errors individuals make in their quest for a partner is succumbing to desperation or the belief that finding someone else will complete them. Attempting to fill an internal void or address personal shortcomings through a relationship often leads to complications. Even when a connection is established, issues arise because the individuals involved haven't undertaken personal growth. The misconception that a partner will serve as a panacea for all one's problems becomes a significant stumbling block. Another common mistake involves assessing potential partners solely based on external attractiveness without considering your own self-improvement. For instance, if someone is exclusively drawn to fit individuals physically but neglects their well-being through poor dietary habits and a lack of exercise, the likelihood of attracting such partners diminishes. Conversely, undervaluing oneself is equally detrimental. Constant self-deprecation and failing to build one's self-esteem create a self-fulfilling prophecy wherein individuals attract partners who align with their negative self-perception. Therefore, it is crucial to cultivate self-awareness and work on personal growth before seeking a partner. Focusing on building a positive self-image, both physically and emotionally, increases the likelihood of forming healthy connections with individuals who appreciate and complement the best version of oneself.
Tips
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Chloe Carmichael, PhD.
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/darwin-does-dating/202201/the-most-valuable-trait-in-relationship-partner
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shyness-is-nice/201809/why-self-confidence-is-more-important-you-think
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/managing-conflicts-with-humor.htm
- ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/importance-of-integrity/
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/trust_is_one_of_the_most_important_aspects_of_relationships
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-side-the-couch/202210/2-essentials-secure-and-stable-relationship
- ↑ https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/what-is-respect-in-a-healthy-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-in-the-positive-perspective/
- ↑ https://www.insider.com/signs-of-emotional-intelligence-2018-5
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-love-relationships.htm
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/3048722/six-habits-of-ambitious-people
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201609/why-you-and-your-partner-need-celebrate-each-other
- ↑ https://www.usafvshelter.org/blog/green-flags-signs-of-a-loving-and-supportive-partner
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/202303/11-ways-couples-can-benefit-from-time-apart
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3356784/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-intimately/201105/attention-is-the-most-basic-form-love-2
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-positive-side-relationships/202203/how-add-passion-your-relationship
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/stop-playing-the-blame-game-take-responsibility-in-your-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/202207/why-is-honesty-so-important-in-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/202108/why-its-so-important-couples-talk-about-their-values
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