Best Ways to Get Along with Your Sister

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Learn how to build a positive relationship with your sister

Co-authored by Seth Hall and Jennifer Vasquez, BA, MA

Last Updated: July 2, 2026 Fact Checked

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Having Positive Interactions

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Improving Your Attitude

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Managing Conflict

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Expert Q&A

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Tips

Navigating sibling relationships can be challenging. If you have a sister you’re trying to get along with but are hitting some roadblocks, you’re not alone. Whether you’re an adult or a teen, having a positive relationship with a sister can be beneficial for both of you. We talked to life coaches and therapists to get insight on how to improve sibling relationships with sisters, including how to interact with them, managing conflict, and more.

Top Tips for Getting Along With a Sister

Make your sister feel supported by acknowledging her achievements.
Show your sister you want to get to know her by asking her questions about her interests and what’s going on in her life.
Think before reacting and use your words to handle conflict. Be honest about what’s bothering you to find a positive resolution.

Section 1 of 3:

Interacting Positively With Your Sister

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Support your sister's achievements. If you want a good relationship with your sister, make her feel supported. Instead of becoming jealous over your sister's achievements, be her personal cheerleader. This will make your sister feel valued and strengthen your bond.
- If your sister achieves something, offer her a sincere congratulations. For example, say something like, "Good job! I'm so proud," if she gets straight A's one semester. If you're supportive of your sister, she's more likely to be supportive of you in return.
- Remember, it's normal to be jealous at times. Sometimes, you may wish you were the one achieving something. However, just because you feel a negative emotion does not mean you have to act on it. Try to put your own negativity aside and try to genuinely congratulate your sister.
- Life coach Seth Hall says one way to express how much you value your sister is to “write down five things that you like about her and give them to her!”^{[1]
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Meet the wikiHow Experts

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who uses her extensive knowledge to help people navigate relationships and more.

Seth Hall is a life coach who specializes in personal development, relationships, and more.

Amanda Diekman is a parenting expert who focuses on innovative and responsive style parenting.

William Gardner, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist with over a decade of experience helping his clients through customized psychotherapy for adults.
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Set boundaries respectfully. Boundaries are important for any healthy relationship. Without solid boundaries, positive relationships are difficult. You are entitled to your own physical and emotional space. When your sister invades your space, let her know politely instead of responding with anger.^{[2]
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- If your sister is upsetting you, you have the right to ask her to stop. Siblings sometimes take a while to understand one another's boundaries, and your sister may occasionally inadvertently make you uncomfortable. In these situations, respond accordingly.
- Parenting expert Amanda Diekman says if a sibling is annoying you, “you can name the specific thing that they're doing that you don't like.” She says once you state the behavior you don’t like, follow it up with, “Could I have some space here?”^{[3]
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- Sometimes, your sibling may not understand you are trying to establish boundaries. Do not hesitate to ask a parent for help if your sibling is not respecting your boundaries.
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Do chores together. A great way to improve your relationship is by working together. Try to help your sister with some of her chores, and ask her for help in return. If the two of you work together on, say, the dishes, this will encourage teamwork and a sense of togetherness.
- Making chores fun can help strengthen your relationship. If washing dishes seems tedious, the two of you can try making up songs to pass the time.
- According to licensed clinical psychologist Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD, teaming up with your sibling to work toward a common goal can reduce fighting.^{[4]
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Treat your sister more like a friend. Many people have a tendency to take siblings for granted. You may fail to see your sister as an individual if you're used to viewing her as just another family member. Try to treat your sister as a friend. Many siblings eventually become good friends.^{[5]
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- Hall suggests being “curious and asking them questions about what’s going on in their lives.” He adds this can help the two of you have more fun together and be more supportive of the other.^{[6]
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- Think about how you treat your friends from school. Chances are, you do not do things like tease and torment them, which you may do to your sister. Try to offer your sister this same kindness.
- Just because she's family does not mean the two of you can't hang out like friends. Go shopping. Invite her on a bike ride. Play a board game together. This would enable a positive relationship between you and your sister.

Section 2 of 3:

Changing Your Attitude Towards Your Sister

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1
Celebrate your sister's talents, instead of being jealous. Jealousy is very common in sibling relationships and can be a major cause of tension. If your sister is, for example, a bookworm, she may get a lot of attention from relatives. Instead of being jealous of this, admire your sister's talents.
- Remind yourself of your own talents and skills. Your sister may have read all the works of Jane Austen, but maybe you're an excellent basketball player. Your sister may be great at figure skating, but you excel at horseback riding.
- Remember, everyone is unique. There is no sense comparing yourself to your sister, as the two of you are different people. It's okay that you have different skills.
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Appreciate your sister's good qualities. If you're sometimes angry with your sister, keeping her good qualities in mind can help. Instead of focusing on things she does that irritate you, think about the reasons you value her.^{[7]
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- Throughout the day, pause and express appreciation for your sister. When she does something you like, make a point of saying so.
- For example, "Chloe, I really appreciate that you helped me with my math homework tonight."
- If you're able to appreciate your sister regularly, you will be less frustrated with her when conflicts arise. You will remember why your sister's good qualities outweigh her bad ones.
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Build a long-term, healthy sibling relationship. It can be difficult to get along with a sibling when you're still at home, especially if the two of you share space and personal items. You may find yourself frequently frustrated. In these moments, think about the future. Remind yourself that you won't always get to see your sister every day. This can help you appreciate her more and work toward establishing a positive connection that can last through adulthood.
- Many siblings turn out to be good friends as adults. Even if the situation is tense now, you may one day think of your sister as your best friend.
- Keep this in mind when you feel frustrated. Remember, a single moment does not define an entire relationship. Having perspective will help you let certain frustrations go.
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Embrace your sister’s unique qualities. If you're living with someone, sometimes it's hard to see them as an individual. You may think of your sister in terms of a family role. For example, you may think, "My sister is the smart one" or "My sister is the goody-two-shoes." Try to look beyond these definitions. It’s important to accept siblings for who they are and remember that they’re individuals, says clinical psychologist William Gardner, PsyD.^{[8]
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Expert Interview} This may help you appreciate your sister.
- Pause when you find yourself labeling your sister. Take a second to question the validity of this label. Does your sister see herself this way? Is there anything about your sister that does not fit with this label?
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Spend time with your sister. Spending time with your sister is vital to learning to appreciate her. The two of you will bond if you share activities. Work on spending some time with your sister each week. Quality time together can help you learn more about each other and strengthen your bond.^{[9]
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- Attend your sister's basketball game after school. Accompany her to her next piano lesson. Ask her to join you in turn. You could, for example, invite her to your upcoming art show.
- Hang out during the day as well. Watch a movie with your sister after school. Play a game together. Talk about things like movies, books, and music.
- Find things that you both like doing so you can do them together. Turn this into your special time together. Ask her what she likes to do and make a list of it.

Section 3 of 3:

Managing Conflict With Your Sister

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1
Think before reacting. The worst thing you can do in a conflict is reacting right away. If your sister hurt your feelings, pause before reacting. Take a few deep breaths and try doing something like counting to five, suggests Dr. Tovar.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview} This will prevent you from blowing up at your sister, potentially making the situation worse.
- When you two are fighting, walk away. You two may need a little distance from each other for a little while.
- Consider whether the conflict is actually worth getting upset over. Sometimes, it's better to let the little things go.
- Reader Poll: We asked 255 wikiHow readers if they agree that letting the little things go is good for you, and 56% of them said Yes. Fixating on little things can be upsetting. [Take Poll]
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Express yourself with words. Use your words to handle conflict. Do not scream and yell, as you are not really communicating. Never resort to physical violence, as this will only make things worse. You also do not want to accidentally hurt your sister during an argument.^{[11]
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- Let your sister know that she has hurt or upset you. Use simple language to explain the unacceptable behavior instead of getting angry in return.
- For example, say something like, "Ella, do not pinch me. Pinching hurts." This is more effective than yelling or pinching back.
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Keep topics friendly to minimize conflict. Certain topics may simply cause arguments. Maybe your sister dislikes discussing something at school. Maybe there's an issue you simply disagree on. If certain topics tend to only lead to fighting, you may be better off avoiding them. No one sees eye-to-eye on everything all the time.
- If your sister looks upset, ask her what's wrong. Showing concern will strengthen your relationship.
- Try to make her laugh! Humor can help bring people together, and lessen tension in certain situations.
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Talk things out with a parent. If you're having trouble managing an issue with your sibling, talk to a parent. Your parents want you and your sister to get along. They will be happy to mediate if the two of you are having an issue.
- Do not bring it up in a negative way. You do not want your parents to think you're being argumentative or mean. Present yourself as wanting to resolve the issue rather than get your parents on your side.
  - For example, say something like, "Dad, I'm having trouble with Sophie lately. Can you give me some advice on how to talk to her about how she read my diary?"

Expert Q&A

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Question

How do I get closer to my sister?

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949)
Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949)

Expert Answer

Be relatable and approachable! Dismissing her will only drive a wedge between the two of you. Also, make an effort to really listen to her and be interested in her life.

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Question

How do you get your sister to stop making fun of you?

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949)
Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949)

Expert Answer

Take a moment to breathe and count to ten. Try not take the name-calling personally—she's actually acting out because she has some unmet need. With this in mind, tell your sister that you would appreciate being spoken to respectfully, and that you'll give her the same courtesy.

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Question

How do you get your sister to respect you?

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949)
Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949)

Expert Answer

Stop name calling and practice kindness instead. You can really get in a tit-for-tat name calling extravaganza if this kind of behavior goes unchecked.

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If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

If your the older one you know that little sisters can be really annoying. Sometimes you'll wish they'd go away or you want to tell them you think they are mean or annoying. Instead, you should be the bigger person. When a little sibling says you're mean or rude, they are trying to get you to snap. If you can resist, they will usually stop.
If you're an older sister, be open to suggestions. If you want to hang out, try to do the things your younger sister wants to do more than what you want to do. For example, play with dolls, teach her how to braid, or take her to the park. Then switch things around and do what you want to do for a couple of days.
Sometimes your sister may want to vent to you about her problems. You should listen and offer her support and reassurance. Be sure to offer a positive view of her problems. Always remind her that she can make light of any situation.
Even if your sister is giving you a hard time, you should still treat her the way you want to be treated. I have been mean to my sister, but I know that one day we’ll be best friends. We still have a lot of growing up to do.
If you have a really bad fight, talk it out with someone other than your sister. Once you're feeling better, try to talk to her. Sometimes, though, both of you just need to stay away from each other for a little while.
When your sister is annoying you, let her know that what she is doing is hurtful and ask why she is doing what she is doing. Kindly ask for an apology.

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