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This article was co-authored by Janine Driver and by wikiHow staff writer, Samantha Fulton, BA. Janine Driver is a body language and decision-making expert based in New Alexandria, VA. With over 30 years of experience, Janine is a former federal law enforcement officer who trained the FBI, CIA, and ATF in detecting deception and high-stakes interviewing. Janine founded the Body Language Institute, leading a team of 6 award-winning communications instructors, instructing monthly certification courses, and speaking for 75-100 events annually. She is the New York Times bestselling author of You Say More Than You Think (2011) and the Washington Post bestselling author of You Can’t Lie to Me (2014), and has given four TEDx talks with over 10 million views on YouTube.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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If you need help understanding body language, you’re in the right place. We’ve partnered with body language and nonverbal communication experts to tell you everything you need to know about picking up on nonverbal cues. We’ll give step-by-step guidance for reading body language, as well as key signals to watch for. Let’s get started!
Tricks for Reading Someone’s Body Language
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Body language and decision-making expert Janine Driver suggests understanding someone’s baseline body language in a relaxed environment, such as their normal posture, mannerisms, and facial expressions. Then, note shifts in their face, posture, hand gestures, and movements. Remember to be mindful of context clues.
Steps
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Get an idea of someone’s baseline body language for a means of comparison. Driver says, “You always want to get someone’s baseline.” This allows you to notice when their expressions, mannerisms, or posture change and read their body language more effectively. Driver recommends paying attention to a person’s body language in a neutral, nonthreatening situation to increase your awareness of changes when they’re in distress or being dishonest.[1]- Look to see if their posture is naturally straight or relaxed.
- Observe their resting facial expression.
- Note if they tend to use certain hand gestures in regular conversation.
Meet the wikiHow Experts
Janine Driver is a body language and decision-making expert based in New Alexandria, VA. She has over 30 years of experience and is a former federal law enforcement officer who trained the FBI, CIA, and ATF in detecting deception.
Dr. Abbie Maroño is a behavioral and social scientist based in Orlando, FL. She is acknowledged by the U.S. Department of State as a top 1% expert in her field.
Mansour Mansouri is a communication coach based in Quito, Ecuador. He has over 17 years of experience working with students and is passionate about helping people with their communication skills.
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Note initial signs of comfort or discomfort in the jaw. Nonverbal communication specialist Mansour Mansouri says the jaw tightens when you’re feeling distressed or uncomfortable, and it’s one of the first nonverbal cues you can check for.[2] Watch for any clenching of the jaw to get an idea of whether someone is relaxed or tense.Advertisement -
Pay attention to changes in the head and face. Driver advises looking for changes from a person’s baseline starting at their head.[3] For instance, if a person tends to tilt their head slightly, and you notice they’re suddenly holding their head straight up, you might determine that their attention is piqued. Also pay attention to changes in the face, such as furrowed or raised eyebrows.- Keep reading for key signals in the face and body to watch for.
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Look for shifts in posture. According to Driver, paying attention to how someone sits or stands can help you read them. She notes that some people naturally sit slanted to one side or the other, or that they move or rock when they’re sitting and standing.[4] If someone like that suddenly becomes rigid or upright, you might assume they’re feeling on edge or that they’re at attention. -
Observe hand gestures. Hand gestures can convey a person’s level of confidence or self-assurance. “When you use more hand gestures, you appear more likable, credible, and confident,” Driver adds.[5] For example, someone who uses decisive hand gestures may be more relaxed and confident, while someone who wrings their hands or fidgets excessively may be more nervous. -
Watch for telltale signs like open or closed body language. Body language and nonverbal communication expert Dr. Abbie Maroño says that people often keep their limbs close to their bodies as a self-soothing mechanism. “We may hug ourselves, keep legs together, and keep everything closed off,” she adds.[6] On the flip side, someone who feels confident and comfortable might have looser body language, like open hands or arms and uncrossed legs. -
Be aware of how someone moves in relation to their surroundings. Dr. Maroño notes that someone’s movements within their space can tell you about how confident or anxious they are. She says someone who tries to take up less space may be anxious, while someone who can comfortably move around and take up room may be more confident.[7] However, someone who takes up excessive amounts of space with over-the-top gestures may be overcompensating or domineering. -
Take context clues into consideration. When you’re reading someone’s body language, make sure you’re considering what’s going on around you. Maybe someone you’re talking to reads as tense or anxious, so you assume they find you offputting—consider whether they’re in an uncomfortable environment or if there’s something going on in their personal life. It’s best to make sure you have the full story before jumping to conclusions.
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Facial expressions Dr. Maroño says there are seven universal emotions that you can look for when reading faces.[8] Watch for expressions of happiness, sadness, fear, disgust, anger, surprise, and contempt when you’re reading someone’s body language.[9] Pay attention to the eyes, eyebrows, and mouth to pick up on the universal emotions. -
Body movement and posture Driver says someone’s movements and posture are key signals to watch for when reading body language.[10] Observe whether someone sits up straight or slouches, and whether or not they’re comfortable taking up space with their movements. For instance, a confident person might stand up taller or feel more comfortable filling the space around them.- Dr. Maroño says mimicry is one way to be charming through body language, so if you notice someone copying your movements, they might just be trying to impress you![11]
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Hand gestures Hand gestures are a major signal for reading body language. Dr. Maroño notes that big hand gestures are one thing to watch for when reading someone’s body language.[12] If someone is using big, fast gestures, it might mean they’re excited or eager. Smaller gestures could mean they’re shy or anxious. -
Personal space The way someone moves within their surroundings and relative to other people can be very telling. If someone stands close to you, it might mean they’re comfortable around you or view you favorably. On the other hand, someone who keeps a distance may be more reserved or uncomfortable around you.[13]
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Body language may not tell the full story. While reading body language can give you insights into someone’s comfort or interest in a given situation, it doesn’t always give you all the information. Remember, one of the best ways to know how someone thinks or feels is to ask! Don’t be afraid to communicate if you want to understand where someone’s head is at. -
Not all information about body language is accurate. Dr. Maroño notes that there are a lot of myths surrounding how to read body language. She mentions that microexpressions, or tiny changes in facial expressions, are one popular body language method that have been debunked by psychological research.[15]- Dr. Maroño also notes that there are misconceptions about certain gestures, such as crossing your arms. She explains that many people believe this is a sign of defensiveness when it’s really just a default stance.[16]
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I tell if someone is uncomfortable around me?
Sarah Schewitz, PsyDSarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.
Licensed PsychologistThe person might be leaning away or trying to walk away if they think you're being creepy. -
QuestionHow do you flirt with someone using body language?
Cher GopmanCher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
Dating CoachSmiling is very important since it shows you're engaged and puts the other person at ease. Eye contact is also super important, but make sure you're looking away every once in a while so it's not too intense. A little bit of hair touching every once in a while is a sign of flirting. Same with leaning in a little bit when you're seated. If you're leaning back, it's a sign that you're less interested. Make sure your arms are not closed off, and don't be afraid to touch the other person if they seem comfortable.
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Tips
Tips from our Readers 
- If they touch your leg, whether it be with their own leg or their hand, they're interested in you. Some people do this on purpose, but it also may be subconscious.
- If someone hides their thumbs by tucking them into their hands or pockets, they usually feel nervous.
- If someone crosses their legs while standing, they probably like the person they are with.
References
- ↑ Janine Driver. Body Language & Decision-Making Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Mansour Mansouri. Nonverbal Communication Specialist. Expert Interview
- ↑ Janine Driver. Body Language & Decision-Making Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Janine Driver. Body Language & Decision-Making Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Janine Driver. Body Language & Decision-Making Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Dr. Abbie Maroño. Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Dr. Abbie Maroño. Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Dr. Abbie Maroño. Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6491740/
- ↑ Janine Driver. Body Language & Decision-Making Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Dr. Abbie Maroño. Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Dr. Abbie Maroño. Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/202103/proxemics-how-interpersonal-distance-communicates-intimacy
- ↑ Dr. Abbie Maroño. Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Dr. Abbie Maroño. Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Expert. Expert Interview
- ↑ Dr. Abbie Maroño. Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Expert. Expert Interview
About This Article
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
If you want to get better at reading body language, look for emotional cues that will tell you how someone is feeling, like v-shaped brows, wide eyes, and crossed arms, which may indicate that a person is angry. If a person is feeling anxious, their mouth may stretch into a thin line and they may fidget with their hands or tap their feet. If a person’s posture is relaxed, they may be feeling open to the conversation, but if their limbs are tightly crossed, they are probably feeling closed off, and they may prefer to change the subject. To learn more from our Professional Counselor co-author, such as how to read eye contact, keep reading the article!
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